


The Origin of Love

by outphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkwardness, Drunkenness, Loss of Parent(s), Love/Hate, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Character, Past Abuse, Royalty, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Swearing, Tags Contain Spoilers, YouTube, i know it says m/m but there are other relationships, just bear with me guys, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-02 11:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8665246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outphan/pseuds/outphan
Summary: Every year after people turn 19, all of the kingdom gathers to find out those people’s soulmates. Most people find it out instantly, only some have to wait years. Phil is one of them.Prince Daniel has been studying at a faraway kingdom, but now he is finished with school so he’s to return to his kingdom. In time for his soulmate ceremony, 4 years after Phil's.However, there are more, darker things on the horizon, for both of them...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, the song which basically inspired this fic. I've been meaning to write a royalty AU Phanfic, so it's finally happening. I have a rough idea what's gonna happen, but will see.
> 
> Also, linguistic and other mistakes might happen, sorry about that.

Phil is standing among the ten other 19-year-olds, anxiously waiting to find out his soulmate. Maybe it’s one of them. Maybe it’s someone a bit older. Phil knows that you only find your soulmate if they are the same age, or older than you. The thing is, everyone knows everyone in the Kingdom of Eloren. And most importantly, Phil can’t imagine living the rest of his life with anyone. 

Nothing really stays secret in Eloren. After all, it’s the smallest kingdom in the world with roughly 700 people. Phil has been trying to figure out how it’s possible to have such a small country in the world. Not that he complains. The richest country, the highest average IQ. But still. Logically, a bigger country should have absorbed Eloren by now. 

“Welcome, my friends,” King Lawrence announces as he steps into the throne room, followed by Queen Gwendoline. People bow then look back to their king. Everyone is there. Well, everyone except the heir to the throne, Prince Daniel. He studies at another kingdom (how stereotypical), no one has really seen him. “I bet you are looking forward to the ceremony! Let’s begin then.” 

The ceremony is usually nice and lovely, but now Phil can’t pay attention. People read poems, there is a group performing something, but he’s focused on the big question. 

Then it’s time. 

Four of his fellow 19-year-olds get paired with each other, two find someone older. That leaves Phil and Loretta and two other boys alone. 

“Don’t worry,” Loretta says, trying to cheer Phil up. “Maybe next year.” 

“Yeah. Maybe.” But Phil doesn’t believe that. 

 

 ** _Four years later_**  

It’s time for the matching ceremony again. It’s been four years, but Phil is still alone. Loretta got paired a year later, the two boys a year after that. It’s not uncommon to not have been paired for a year or two, but four years is quite unique. Phil, along with everyone, attends the ceremony every year, but when he keeps feeling eyes on him. 

Oh, how he wishes, _wishes_ that he got someone. It would be so much easier. Maybe he’ll never get a soulmate. He’s been thinking. If he doesn’t get matched by the time he’s 25, he’ll just leave the country, to get away from the embarrassment. If only it was that easy… 

“My friends!” King Lawrence says as he enters the room, followed by… 

A murmur runs through the crowd. Prince Daniel is back. Phil’s eyes go big as he realises it’s time for the prince. Queen Gwendoline keeps her hands on his son’s shoulders. She looks proud. Proud and anxious.  

The whispering continues as the king talks a bit. No one is really paying attention. Phil is looking at the prince, who is wearing a black suit. He looks… good. Unfamiliar. It’s been so long since anyone saw him; during school time he’s away, when he’s back for the holidays, the family keeps to themselves. 

“Lawrence,” the queen says when his husband’s speech getting a bit long. 

“Oh, right, of course.” He nods. “Let’s begin!” 

Queen Gwendoline nudges her son until he is standing amongst his fellow 19-year-olds. There are only 7 of them this year. Everyone, including Phil, is looking at the prince. Phil has a strange feeling about him, not sure what. Some kind of unease or eagerness, he can’t really explain what or why exactly. Maybe it’s because the heir to the throne is (finally) standing there. Small or not, the kingdom is still a kingdom and everyone respects King Lawrence and Queen Gwendoline. Maybe it’s the same about Prince Daniel. 

The Royal Choir sings a traditional Elorien song, followed by a poem written by the great Elorien poet, Sir Oswin Luther. But really, no one pays attention. Phil is tugging the sleeve of his button-up, wanting to leave. _This is so outdated,_ he thinks. _There’s no way everyone would find their soulmate in a kingdom of 700 people._ In fact, Phil has never heard anyone who found their soulmate some place else. He’s always wanted to find a reason for that, but you don’t just go questioning a rule of hundreds of years. 

“Amelia Devlin!” the ceremony master announces and she steps forward. She is wearing a deep blue dress and as anxious as everyone.  

Phil wants to look away from the prince, but he just… can’t. He’s mesmerised. He can’t help but notice how Prince Daniel regulates his breathing. In for 7, out for 11. Who knew a prince could be this nervous? _I mean I get it. No one really cares about anyone here, but him._   

The ceremony master goes through the list, one by one, agonisingly slowly. Even if his life depended on it, Phil couldn’t say who got matched and who didn’t. All he knows that the prince is the last on the list. 

“Prince Daniel James of Eloren, step forward!” A room suddenly goes silent. The prince steps forward and looks at the ceremony master with determination. “As you reached the age of 19, you find out who your soulmate is. The decision is final and always has been, there is nothing you can do to change that. Do you understand?” 

“Yes.” Phil can feel butterflies in his stomach when the prince speaks, but he’s sure because it’s the heir, not because… Anything else. “I understand.” 

“Very well. Your soulmate is…” A moment passes and Prince Daniel looks at the crowd, his eyes linking with Phil’s. It’s only a moment, but it’s more than enough. Phil knows. “Philip Michael Lester.” 

The murmur gets louder, people keep looking between the prince and Phil. Never, _never_ , in the 237 years of history of Eloren has been a same-sex soulmate pairing. No one knows what to do. And the fact that it’s the heir to the throne makes it more complicated. 

“Well…” The king says awkwardly. “That’s it for this year, friends. All the best to the newly matched! Dream, discover and explore!” 

“Dream, discover and explore!” some people repeat the kingdom’s motto, but others are still shocked. 

Phil just wants to disappear into the crowd, he’s about to mingle with them (it’s a bit hard with his height) when he hears King Lawrence’s voice. 

“Mr Lester, a word, please.” 

Phil wants the ground to open and just swallow him up, right there. But nope, it’s happening. He stops, turns around and walks back to the royal family. The queen and her son are standing by the thrones, quietly talking and the king is waiting for Phil. 

“Your Majesty.” Phil stops three feet away from him and bows. 

“Mr Lester,” the king steps closer, extending his hand. Phil takes the fraction of a second to react but he shakes the king’s hand. It’s surprisingly soft and warm. “Well, enough to say it’s a unique situation.” 

“I believe so, yes.” Phil smiles, trying to shake off his awkwardness. 

“Daniel, come here,” King Lawrence tells to his son. 

He walks up to his father but avoids Phil’s gaze. “Yes, father?” 

“I think you and Mr Lester here should spend some time together, what do you say?” 

“But… dad!” Suddenly Phil doesn’t see a prince, the heir to the throne, but rather a teenager who wants nothing but go to his room and play loud music. 

“Don’t ‘but dad’ me!” King Lawrence turns back to Phil. “Would you like to stay for dinner? It would be my pleasure.” 

Phil wants to say no, after all it’s still the royal family but he knows he can’t because it’s _the royal family_. “I’d be happy to. Thank you, sir.” 

“Dan, why don’t you give a tour to Mr Lester?” the queen asks. 

The prince grunts and looks at Phil. When they look into each other’s eyes, the world seems to stop for a second, all the noises disappearing. “Fine. Come on.” 

He walks away and Phil has no choice, but to follow him. He glances back at the king and queen, who stand next to each other, hand in hand, watching their son and Phil. 

The prince leads Phil through corridors. It’s not a big castle, it’s more like a mansion, but for Phil, for a _commoner_ , it’s strange and weird. They don’t stop anywhere; the prince is pretty much running to some place, with Phil trying to keep up. Finally, they reach a door. The prince sighs then opens the door. 

The room is huge, it’s bigger than Phil’s whole flat. There is a giant bed on the other side of the room with the typical curtains around it. By the bay window, there are two armchairs, overlooking the sea. Closer to the door there is the game corner, with a huge TV, consoles and more games than in a game shop. 

“Wow,” Phil says quietly, because, let’s admit, he’s shocked. 

“Great, you had the great tour, now you can go.” The prince sits down in front of TV, looking through his games. 

“Um, Your Highness...” 

“Stop with that bullshit, call me Dan.” 

Phil hesitates for a second. “But, Your Highness, um… I mean, _Dan_.” 

Dan stands up and walks to Phil. When they are facing each other, Dan measures Phil up. Dan is smaller and skinnier and younger, but Phil feels… attracted. And he also feels that this is somewhat inappropriate, soulmate or not. 

“Why don’t you just leave?” Dan raises his hands and pushes Phil away a bit. It’s the sudden reaction that shocks Phil. “Why is it you? Why did it have to be you? Why do we have this stupid, old tradition?!” Dan is now explicitly angry. This is not the rage of a royalty, but the rage of a teenager. 

“I don’t have anything to do with this.” 

Dan scoffs. “You had to be born, you had to stay in this stupid country.” 

“What is your problem?” Phil knows that he’s crossing a line, but on the other hand Dan is acting childish. 

“This... I can't have a guy as a soulmate!” Dan turns away. "I hate you for being you."

After a minute of silence, it’s Phil who breaks it. His voice is quiet and soft. “You know, this, being a soulmate doesn’t always mean a romantic relationship. We can be just like friends or whatever, I mean if that’s…” 

“Oh, will you just stop talking?” Dan snaps and faces Phil again. “Why won’t you leave?” 

“Your father asked me to stay for dinner…” 

“Of course, he did,” Dan says, but Phil just ignores him. 

“… and I feel it’s rude to turn down a king’s offer.” 

“Well, he’s a bloody important king. This whole fucking country is about the size of a village.” Birds are chirping outside; the sea is splashing against the stones. But Dan and Phil just standing there, angrily staring at each other. This time, Dan is the first to speak. “You should go. Your parents are waiting for you.” 

“They’re dead, so…” 

Dan opens his mouth to say something, then quickly changes his mind and says something instead. “I’ll let my dad know you had to leave.” Phil nods and Dan walks away, back to his games. “Julian!” he shouts and a man enters. Phil suspects it’s Dan’s personal guard, but he is dressed way too casually to be a guard. “Would you show Phil out, please? Cheers.” 

Julian walks in front of Phil as they walk further and further away from the prince’s room. Phil is sulking, of course he is. There he is, his soulmate, he finally got matched then it turns out that he’s the rudest person in the country. 

“Just ignore him,” Julian says as they reach the throne room. “He’s usually nicer, but lately, he’s been… Weird.” 

“Thanks.” Phil smiles at him then after saying goodbye to Julian he leaves. 


	2. Chapter 2

Phil spends the better part of the next two days thinking about that short (and rude) interaction with the prince. He keeps replaying the words said but the main thing that he actually remembers is the weirdly familiar connection when they looked into each other’s eyes. He can't deny the thing he felt, especially when he told Prince Daniel that his parents are dead and the prince was about to say something... For a minute there, he felt normal, not the heir apparent that he is. 

After a long night of eating takeaway and watching behaviour videos on YouTube, Phil realises something: the prince wasn’t rude, he was just angry. At the world, at his parents, at traditions. Why, he doesn't know, but that's not really a problem. And Phil also realises there’s not he can do about it. If the prince lets him, he can help with that anger, but he needs to face it first. 

He’s about to go to bed at 1 am, turning off all the lights in the flat when he hears scratching coming from the living room. He grabs the closest weapon-like object, a thick book (despite the fact that the crime rate in Eloren is 0%) and turning back all the lights he goes to the window… 

… only to find Prince Daniel, standing on the balcony with Julian next to him. Julian looks at Phil apologetically as Phil opens the door. 

“Y-your Highness, what are you doing here?” 

“I’m not drunk!” he says, slurring. 

“Clearly," Julian smirks. “I’m sorry, I tried to stop him, but…” he tries to say, but the prince starts yelling. 

“I am unstoppable! I am the prince of darkness!” 

“Of course, Your Highness,” Julian says, trying to quiet the prince of darkness, then looks at Phil. “Is it okay if we come in for a minute? I just want to sober him up before I take him home.” 

“Of course.” Phil steps aside as Julian not-so-gently pushes the prince in, straight onto Phil’s couch. “I’ll get him a glass of water.” 

Phil walks to the kitchen, hands shaking. Drunk people do stupid things, but why did the prince come to Phil’s? Is it because he’s been thinking about him? Like obviously he had to when he was sober or not as drunk because his drunken mind ended up bringing him here. 

“Look,” Julian says, coming into the kitchen. Phil jumps a bit and looks at him. “We’ll get out as soon as possible, but if I took him home like this, his parents would kill me, then him, then me again.” 

“No, it’s…” Phil is about to grab a glass to fill it with water when Julian reaches for it. “… okay.” 

“If it makes anything better, he’s been talking about you.” 

“He has?” 

Julian opens the cold water tap, lets it run for a few seconds before answering. “He said he hates your stupid little face. His words, not mine. He also said that your eyes are so blue that it reminds him of the ocean in Thelide, and it makes him want to swim in them. Again, his words, not mine.” 

Phil smiles a little but tries to hide it from Julian. Maybe there’s hope after all. Maybe it’s not all lost. 

“Why am I in this stupid guy’s flat?” the prince shouts from the living room. 

“Because, Your Highness…” Julian brings the glass of water to the living room, followed by Phil. “You spent the entire night talking about him and begging me to find out his address.” 

“I did not!” He jumps up, knocking the glass from Julian’s hand and it lands on Phil’s white rug. Julian just sighs. 

“Sit down, you dickhead.” 

“How dare you call me that, I am…” 

“Sit. Down.” The prince shuts up and sits down. “Just stay with him,” Julian tells Phil as he goes back to get another glass of water. 

“I hate you,” the prince says before burping loudly. 

“I’m well aware of that, thanks.” 

“No, you don’t understand.” He pokes Phil in the chest twice, but after the second time, his finger lingers, staying on Phil’s chest. “I hate that you’re so perfect. I hate that you’re my soulmate. I hate that I look into your eye and I feel safe and whole. I hate that I’m attracted to you.” 

Phil doesn’t know what to react, but luckily, Julian comes back with the water. He sits on the prince’s other side and helps him drink the water. “There we go.” Julian stands up and looks at Phil. “Would you… would you help me get another glass?” 

Phil is about to question it, but Julian just stares at him. He then nods and stands up. 

“I’ll just lie down a bit,” the prince says before pretty much falling face first into the couch. 

“Look, uh…” Julian says, drumming with his fingers on the countertop. “Don’t tell any of this to Dan. There’s a chance he won’t remember it, but he needs to figure it out himself.” 

“What do you mean?” Phil sits down on one of the stools. 

“He’s always been very stubborn, very… ‘I want things to go the way I want them to go’. He also doesn’t like to be suffocated. That’s the reason he chose to study in Thelide.” Phil just nods but doesn’t know what to say. “My point is he’s been talking about you. A lot. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s crazy about you, or wants to be crazy about you." Phil’s heart is about to jump out of his chest and run away. “But give him time. He’s been raised to think that he’ll end up marrying a girl and have her as his queen. This is very new to him.” 

“Give him time, I got it.” 

“Anyway, thanks for letting us in, but I’ll better drag is ass home.” Julian leaves the kitchen and Phil can’t help but admire his friendship with the prince. To Phil, it seems like Julian is more like a big brother than a guard. Julian comes back, forehead wrinkled, but with a lurking smile. “He’s fallen asleep. I can’t get him into the palace unnoticed.” 

“I mean, you could uh… stay here.” Phil immediately regrets it but he also suspects that’s what Julian wanted to hear. 

“I know he’ll be perfectly safe with you so I’ll just head home. Hope that’s okay.” 

“Wha – I mean yeah.” 

“Cool, I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” 

And with that, he leaves. It all happened very quickly and Phil has no time to process it because he has a snoring, drunk prince on his couch to deal with. 

Ten minutes and several sweat drops later, the prince is snoring in Phil’s bed. While Phil is taller than the prince, he isn’t exactly light and Phil isn’t exactly strong. But it’s done now. Before leaving the bedroom, Phil grabs a pillow and a quilt and admires the prince’s sleeping form for a second.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 1 am while my eyes were pouring out of my head, so sorry? I guess?

Sleep doesn't come easy for Phil that night. Well, at all. Sleeping on the couch isn't exactly comfortable. Plus, you know, the fact that the heir apparent is sleeping in Phil's bed. 

He lies flat on his back, looking at the blank ceiling illuminated by the street lights and the moon. The fridge is making weird noises, the wind is shaking the trees outside and another person is snoring in his home, but other than that It's dead quiet. There are no cars, no people, no anything, just Phil and his thoughts. 

Why? Why him? Why is the prince Phil's soulmate? It would've been so much easier to get paired with a girl. Phil could be married by now. A nice house with a garden. Maybe a kid, too. But definitely a dog, that's for sure. But he also knows that that's not happiness for him. As a kid, everyone imagines who they're going to settle down with, Phil's no different. He doesn't know who he used to imagine, but on some level he knows or at least suspected he never would've been happy with a girl. 

He's not the first gay person in the kingdom and not the last one. The ones who realise their own sexualities leave right after high school or before the ceremony because they know that there's no future for them here. Oh, but they were so wrong. Phil was supposed to leave too. But his parents' death changed everything and he couldn't. 

If only he knew... 

"You have any food?" Phil screams when he hears the prince's voice. The prince starts laughing. "Jesus, dude, it's me, calm your tits." 

"I thought you were sleeping." Phil stands up, hugging his blanket and facing the prince, but it's too dark to actually see him. 

"Food?" 

Phil sighs, dropping his blanket. "Sure." He walks to the kitchen, followed by the prince. He's blinded by the kitchen lights and almost walks into his fridge. "What would you like?" 

"Anything goes," the prince says, followed by a _plop!_ and Phil doesn't need to turn around to know that Dan sat down on the squeakiest chair. "Man, I'm still so drunk, I feel like I'm gonna puke." 

Phil hesitates for a second then looks at the prince. Who, in that half an hour while he was alone, got rid of his T-shirt. And jeans. And, is in fact, sitting in just underwear. In Phil's kitchen. Sure, just your everyday Monday night. Phil has a hard time ignoring the prince's body... 

"Do you think it's a good idea to eat then?" 

"Yeah, just give me toast and butter or something, Jesus Christ..." 

It gets easier to ignore him when he's mean as hell. "Sure," Phil says dryly, promising to himself that he won't say another word. 

He makes the toast in an awkward silence. However, toast-making doesn't require that much attention, so while the slices are toasting, he reorganises his cutlery drawer. When the bread jumps out of the machine, he jumps a bit too; worried, that the prince might comment on it, but doesn't, thankfully. He puts the bread on a plate, trying to figure out a sarcastic and hopefully mean thing to say to the prince. He gets the butter and a knife and puts them in front of the prince. 

"Cheers," he says, picking up his meal, and heading back Phil's bedroom. 

 _Well, that went swimmingly,_ Phil thinks as he sweeps the crumbs with his hands. 

Back on the couch, he makes a promise to himself. He'll get up early, call Julian and tell him to take the prince away. Heir or not, there's only so much Phil can take, and a bitchy teen is certainly not one of those things.  

 

Phil has a bad night’s sleep, there’s no reason to deny that. But when he wakes in the morning to the sound of his shower running, he just gets angrier, because the prince is still there. He barely slept, he's still annoyed after the late night meeting with the prince. But his mum also taught him to be nice towards his guest. 

While Phil waits for him to be ready, he starts making breakfast. Coffee and eggs, nothing can go wrong with that. Phil is carefully flipping the omelette when he hears the clap-clap-clapping of naked feet. 

“Hey,” the prince says. 

“Good morning, Your Highness.” Phil hopes that his 'Your Highness' is as bitchy as the prince's tone last night.  

“Would you stop with that bullshit? We’ve been through this.” He’s wearing his own black jeans and one of Phil’s T-shirts.  

“Sorry.” He turns back to the (almost burnt) omelette. “I made coffee, but I don’t know how you like it.” He points at the two mugs but there’s no point, Dan is already there, making his own cup. 

"Thanks." 

Phil cuts the omelette in half before putting it on two separate plates. They're silent again, still awkward and heavy. Dan reaches for one of the plates as Phil also reaches for the same plate. Their hands touch, but neither of them moves; instead, they look at each other and that connection is there again.  

Phil wants to ask why Dan is acting like that. He's trying so hard to be good enough for him, but then again who can be good enough for a crown prince? 

“You should call Julian,” Phil says, when they’re done eating. He’s slurping the rest of his (pretty much non-existent) coffee. “To let him know that you’re okay.” 

“Already did.”  

“Okay.” 

“Yep.” 

Back to silence. Phil is analysing the texture of his mug (very white and very shiny) and pretty much doing anything to avoid looking at the prince. But he has a (bad?) characteristic trait that's caused him problems. When he's annoyed or frustrated, like now, he asks questions that are better left unasked. 

"Why are you so rude?" 

"What?" Phil is still avoiding looking at Dan, but from the corner of his eyes, he can see that Dan is looking at him. 

"I mean, I did nothing to you, I'm giving you space and I'm sorry but I really can't help it that we're soulmates." 

"Wow, and I'm the rude one?" 

"Shut up," Phil mumbles. 

"Nice one, Phil." 

Phil is annoyed, and he's not even trying to hide it. Dan might be royalty, but that doesn't excuse his tone. "No, seriously. I let you stay here so your parents won't get angry and what do I get? Your bitchy tone." He stands up, almost knocking his chair over. "Well, thanks for nothing." 

Dan looks at him. He clearly finds this situation amusing. "Well, what do you want me to say, huh? That everything will be alright? Or one of those inspirational poster quotes? This ain't Pinterest, sunshine." 

"Well, for starters, you could say why it bothers you so much that I'm your soulmate." 

"That's none of your business," Dan says darkly. He thinks for a second, then is about to continue when a knock interrupts him. "Thank fuck." 

"Well, hate me all you want, but you can't change the fact that I'm your soulmate. Whatever happened in your past, that's the past, just don't project that onto me," Phil says before opening the front door. "Hey, Julian." He opens the door wider for Dan's guard. 

"He behave okay?" Julian asks Phil. 

"Yup, wonderfully." 

Dan walks out the door, briefly looking at Phil, but it's enough. There's so much hatred, so much frustration in that look that Phil knows that Dan won't be returning anytime soon. And honestly? Phil's relieved. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for the comments! I know I haven't replied to any of it, but Jesus H. Christ, guys, you are wonderful. I love every one of you, including you lurkers who leave kudos too. Seriously, you're so amazing!!!
> 
> I have an assignment due on the 9 January, and I'm flying back to the UK the day after, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up (besides, what's a schedule hahaha) but watch this space, it'll happen soonish.
> 
> Oh, also, I know that the slow burn thing doesn't seem kind of slow burn as of now, but because of stuff that'll happen later it kind of will? I don't know? I'm also confusing myself don't worry!
> 
> Thank you again you wonderful people!

Phil doesn't expect Dan to come back or even talk to him, let alone the very next day. He's too busy working (perks of the job, while he _should_ go in to the media centre, he can work from home), doing a final research on an upcoming trip for the king and queen, where he'll be one of the correspondents. He got this job before the whole ceremony and despite everything, he's not backing down, this opportunity will be good for his career. His bosses need to know the exact details of the trip, including when the royal couple can breathe or what exactly they're going to do. They are leaving next week so everything is time sensitive. 

As he's doing a detailed itinerary of their visit to the Grand Duchy of Olia, he comes to the horrifying realisation. The prince is going to be there too. He doesn't really want to spend time with him, considering that Phil is going with the royal family. But what can he do? He's the heir, he kind of has to be there. And Phil has a lot of things to do to even focus on that. 

So, on that afternoon while nothing but work is on his mind, he's not expecting guests. Let alone Dan, but guess what? 

There's a knock, on his door this time, around 3 o'clock. Phil pauses his music, because he's not sure he _actually_ heard a knock. But there it is again, this time louder and more forceful. 

"I'm coming!" Phil calls out as he's walking to his front door. As soon as he opens, Dan steps in, without saying anything. He's alone, no Julian, no other guards. "What the hell?" 

"Close the door, please." He sounds upset, his voice makes Phil worried, so he closes the door. "Sorry to bother you, I literally have no place to go." 

"Wanna sit down?" Phil asks, pointing to his couch. They take two ends of the two-seater, sitting as far from each other as possible. "Is everything okay?" 

"I don't know, I kind of just ran away." Dan sighs, unzipping his hoodie. He's not upset because of his title, his angst is of a teenager's. "I know I was really rude yesterday and I'm sorry about that." 

"It's fine." Phil feels uncomfortable, slightly because Dan can be very unpredictable. 

"Not really though. You were right, I _am_ projecting my past onto you." 

Phil doesn't know what to say, so instead he changes the subject. "So what brings you here today?" 

"I got in a fight with my parents. About you, actually." 

"Me?" 

"Yeah...  They told me I was being stupid and selfish, but at this point I'm not sure if they want me to respect the traditions that come with the soulmate thing or It's about something else." Dan sighs and takes a moment before he continues. "Reasonably I know they're right, but you know how it is. We started arguing, I might've said something along the lines that I hate them for forcing me to rule one day. Then my dad said that I need to get back down to Earth and realise that not everything's about me and that sneaking out last night was an irresponsible thing to do." 

"So your answer is to sneak out again." Dan just smiles and sighs. "I was about to make some tea, if you want some." 

"That'd be nice, thanks." 

As Phil goes to the kitchen, he sees his phone light up to signal that he got a message. He looks back at Dan who's leaning back on the sofa, looking at the ceiling. Phil picks up the phone, and walks out of Dan's sight.  

 **Unknown:** _Is he with you? -_ _Julian_  

Phil sighs and texts him back. **Phil:** _He is. Don't come here, if_ _that's okay,_ _I'm_ _getting through._  

There's no reply, but Phil saves the phone number, just in case.  

 

Five minutes later, he goes back to the living room with two steaming mugs of tea. Dan is currently standing over Phil's desks, watching the work he's done so far. 

"The queen of Luwan won't be there, there's a rebellion going on there, and the banquet won't be in the main castle, but in Blackmill Castle. The rest seems okay," Dan says after Phil puts the mugs down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I just saw the document open on your laptop." 

"It's fine, thanks for the info." Phil updates his data as Dan takes a seat. "So what now? You're hiding here until...?" He doesn't finish the sentence because, well, he doesn't know how long Dan's staying there. He sits down too, hugging his mug. 

Dan takes a sip of the milky brew. "Good tea. And I can go whenever, you literally have no reason to let me stay here. I've been acting stupid and reasonably I know you don't deserve this."  

"You can stay, I don't mind having you here." 

"Thanks. I meant what I said, I was rude and I'm sorry. I want to start over, if possible." 

Phil takes a second to answer, not because he needs time to think, but because Dan baffles him. He's so ambiguous, he can be very articulate or very I-don't-even-care. Dan's like a teenager who tries to be, _wants to be,_ a teenager while bearing the weight of the royal title on his shoulder. He wants this and doesn't want this at the same time. 

"Sure, I'd like that." Phil smiles, letting himself experience that same attraction again. Dan's truly beautiful and amazing, both inside and out. Despite their, erm... chat, the previous day, Phil cannot stay mad at him. They're like two magnets: no matter what separates them, they keep finding a way back to each other. 

Dan sighs, setting his cup down. “We need to figure this out. I hate this. I hate myself for being this stupid, for being angry at myself.” 

“Why are you angry?” 

Dan takes a while to answer. Phil's about to tell him that he doesn't need to know, when Dan starts speaking. “When I was in Thelide to study, I was happy. I was free. Pretty much no one knew who I really was. I mean, I was just Dan a simple guy, getting his education. Then I had to come home for the ceremony and I got matched with you and I felt like you’re the one who ties me down, so to speak. And ever since I was a kid, I’ve been told that I’ll get matched to one of the girls here and I’ll be happy. But it’s you and…” 

“You don’t know you can be happy,” Phil says, finishing the sentence for him. “You know, being a soulmate means that I’d end up understanding you the best. I can be your friend or whatever.” 

Dan looks away. “I’m not sure that’d be enough.” He looks back at Phil, expecting something. For the first time, Phil feels _this_ is to moment to kiss him. But Dan starts speaking again, his voice is quiet. “I remember what I said the other night. I _am_ attracted to you, like fuck, to the point where I feel bad if I stay away from you. But that’s not the point.” Dan tries to hide his smile, but he fails. Phil smiles, too. “I don’t know if the people would accept me if… you know, I didn’t end up marrying a girl. ” 

“I get that, but… Isn’t the most important thing you being happy?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know, it’s all confusing. There are things I'd like to do and things I'm _expected_ to do. Being... Being with you would sure as hell fit the first category, but I'm not sure about the second. Then there's an issue of succession. If I don't have heirs, this kingdom will pretty much cease to exist.” 

"You still have time to figure out, don't you? I mean, your father is alive and well, so you don't need to think about those as of now." 

"I know, but..." Dan sighs, playing with the teaspoon in his empty mug. Phil suspects he’s nervous and he wants nothing but to put his hand on Dan’s but he’s not sure he can. "Now what?" 

"I don't know." They're both quiet, deep in thoughts. "Maybe call your parents, tell them that you're okay." 

Dan chuckles and stands up. "I guess there's one thing you should know about me." He lowers his voice and starts tiptoeing to Phil's front door. "Even if I tried my best to sneak away from the guards, there's no fucking chance to do it." He opens the door and without looking says, "Come in, Julian." But no one does. The prince even looks out to the hallway of Phil's block, but nothing. No Julian, no guards. "That's odd." 

"Julian actually texted me and I told him to leave you alone for a bit." 

"You did?" 

"Yeah, sorry, I figured you needed some privacy." 

"Huh." Dan closes the door and as he walks back to the couch, he pulls out his phone, and sends a text, Phil figures. “Anyway, like I said, I’d love to get to know you. If that’s okay.” 

“Sure.” 

But neither of them know where to start. It's awkward and clumsy, kind of like two kids on the very first day of school being forced to sit next to each other and they don't know how to talk. Phil wants to ask what exactly happened in Thelide, but he doesn't want to push his luck. They're being civil now, friendly even. 

"I like your flat, by the way." 

"Thanks," Phil says. "That's why I live in it." Dan just stares at him and Phil chuckles, before turning serious. "Look, I know this is awkward, but you don't need to, like, I don't know, stay." 

"Are you kicking me out?" 

Phil thinks for a second. Ever since the accident that killed his parents, he's been lonely. He doesn't have any other family, and he's too weird to make normal friends. He's lonely, longing for something. And Dan's here now and he's _his soulmate_ but still, he can't have him. Sure there's friendship and general companionship, but deep down, he knows that wouldn't be enough, not when it's Dan, the wittiest, funniest, _loveliest_ person in his life. But _he is Dan_ , the freaking crown prince. What Dan said was true: the things he's expected to do may not match with the things he'd like to do. Phil's pretty sure that when it comes to it, he'll do the things he's expected to do. Unfortunately, if that's the case, Phil has no place in it. 

Why is he being so negative about it? It's not like they're together and Phil has any right to say anything about it. He knows that when he looks into Dan's eyes, that's the place he belongs to and yet... He's confused and he utterly hates it. 

Phil says eventually, "No, I just..." 

"You just what?" 

Phil stands up and starts pacing. "Bloody hell, I don't know. You said you're not sure friendship would be enough, well, let me tell you... I'm pretty sure It's not enough for _me_ , but I don't want to play this stupid game where you leave me hanging every time I "threaten" your view of what you're expected to do. I'm not some... thing you can just drag along, then toss me aside when things get real. Look, I'm not asking you to start a relationship or whatever here and now and I'm definitely not expecting a proposal of some sort, I just need to know that, maybe, there's a slight chance for, you know, you and me in the future. That I'm not some toy to play with while you find a girl to make her the queen." 

Dan stares at him for a second, then starts laughing, clutching his stomach. Phil looks at him confused, not knowing _why_ Dan is dying of laughter. After half a minute, Dan's laughter quietens and he wipes the tears from his eyes. "Oh, my God, Phil...  Your choice of words is on point, seriously." Dan sighs. "Look, there are two things I can tell you. No, actually, make that three. I'm not looking to find a girl, because despite what everyone hopes, if I had the choice I would settle down with a guy. I mean I like girls too, but like I said, I'd want to settle down with a guy, so there's that." Dan gives him a reassuring smile.  "I'm not gonna, how did you say? Toss you aside when I feel like it? Anyway, yeah, not gonna do that, either. And give me like a few days to come to terms with that my soulmate is a guy and I'm like..." Dan stops speaking for a second, all his confidence suddenly disappearing. When he speaks again, his voice is quiet and small. "And then we can try that relationship thing if you want to? I mean no pressure." 

Dan's phone chimes, but both of them ignore it because A) Phil's freaking out, because the guy he has a crush on (yep, Phil went there) said they could give a go the relationship and because B) there's worry on Dan's face because after everything, Phil might turn him down. Not a fucking chance. 

Phil tries to reply as calmly and as nonchalantly as possible. "Sure, yeah." He smiles and Dan smiles back. "Sorry for freaking out on you, by the way." 

"Nah, no worries." Dan picks his phone up to check the message he just got. He groans as he reads it. "Anyway, we're expected for dinner with the most embarrassing parents ever." 

"You mean yours?" 

"Duh." 

"No, I mean the actual king and queen?" 

Dan rolls his eyes. "It's not that big of a deal, really. They're not the monarchs of the universe, but rather the smallest kingdom on the planet. Chill out." 

As if, Phil thinks, as Dan forces him to get up and stop freaking out. This is a very weird week.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay!!! I'm really busy with dissertation and uni work, so I'm not sure when the next chapter is coming, but it will happen! I'm really sorry that it took/takes so long to write such short chapters. I was gonna make this chapter longer, include the dinner itself as well, but I didn't want you guys to wait any longer.
> 
> Thank you ever so much for the continued support! I am so overwhelmed with the feedback. I know that this is not the best fic out there, and I know the the schedule is non-existent, but I am so very grateful for every little letter you write. You guys are the best.

Phil changes his T-shirt to a white shirt. Then changes to black shirt. Then goes back to the first shirt. Then walks back into the living room where Dan is sitting. 

"What should I wear? I feel like I have nothing appropriate to wear," Phil says, pouting a little. 

Dan thinks for a second before replying with a serious face. “Your fanciest suit. Please, make yourself look like a clown.” 

"Very funny." Phil goes back to the bedroom, standing in front of his wardrobe once again.  

"Anything's fine, you spork," Dan says, leaning against the door frame. "It's not like they're gonna be in formal wear. It's not a state dinner. Chances are they're gonna be in joggers." Phil stares at him, a bit shocked. Dan just rolls his eyes. 

Eventually, Phil settles on a dark blue shirt after Dan says that it's the queen's favourite colour. Before leaving he asks Dan if they should call Julian as he is Dan's guard but he just says 'If it was possible to have crime rate below 0%, it would be here', so they just walk to the castle, the two of them. It's only 5 minutes away from Phil's apartment (as is everything, pretty much) but they meet people on the way there. All of them bow; some, especially kids, wave; some even stop them to have a chat. Not that Phil complains, he gets a 20% lifetime discount at the grocery store, only because Dan's there. (He's still gonna pay full price, because Reggie Waterman is a hardworking old man and he's pretty much everyone's adopted grandpa in the kingdom.) 

 

When they reach the gates of the castle, the four guards stand to attention. One of them goes to open the entrance. Dan smirks. 

"Cheers, Ricardo." 

"Your Highness. Mr Lester." 

Dan rolls his eyes and literally has to drag Phil along because, well, it seems he turned into a celebrity. But then again, this is Eloren, everyone knows everyone. 

Phil quietly follows Dan towards the castle. He can't help but admire the building. Its neo-gothic design has always impressed him. He's always felt so small next to the North Tower with its pointy tower and fancy windows. There is, however, a rose window he really likes. It's mainly dark blue with lighter blue in it. When Phil was only 6, his dad told him to look at that window. He did, kept his eyes on it. His dad put his hands on Phil's shoulders and said 'You'll go far, son. You'll be happy. Your mummy and daddy love you very much, and we just want you to be true to who you are. Whenever you look at that window, I want you to remember this.' And Phil does, but he gets lonely whenever he sees that window. Not sad, because it reminds him of his parents, no, he just misses them even more. 

"You okay?" Dan's voice drags him back to reality. 

"Yeah, sorry." 

"I asked if you're staying at the same place in Olia." 

"Yep, I think so." Even if his life was on stake, Phil wouldn't be able to recall the name of the place. The anniversary of his parents' death is coming up and it's not an easy time for him. 5 years. 5, very long, very lonely years. 

"Sure you're okay?" They're walking up the steps to the castle now, and Dan stops Phil, putting his hand on Phil's upper arm. "You don't have to come in if you're not feeling like it." 

"No, it's not that, It's... my parents." 

"Your parents?" Dan raises his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side a bit. 

Phil clears his throat before answering quietly. "It's gonna be five years since they died next week." 

"Oh." That's all Dan says, and Phil is kind of glad for it. He's never really told anyone about his parents. 

Julian opens the front door. 

"Your dickness," Julian says, completely changing the mood. 

"I see you missed me." 

"I'm gonna miss the quiet now." Julian turns to Phil. "Thanks for looking after the brat." 

"Hey!" Dan says, pouting a little. 

Phil smiles, but doesn't reply. He shares a look with Julian, while Dan is still grouching. Julian steps aside, letting Dan and Phil in, walking behind them. 

"Your parents were upset that you left, especially that you disappeared without me, but I managed to calm them down." 

"Wow, thanks. I guess they were really worried that I vanished in a place that wouldn't even qualify as a town." 

"I appreciate your sarcasm, Daniel," King Lawrance walks out of a room just as they're walking past it. They stop and Phil instinctively stands farther away from Dan. "However, when you're child disappears, it gets a bit terrifying." 

"Your child or your heir?" Dan retorts without missing a beat. 

The king stares at Dan then nods. He looks at Phil. "I'm glad you came. Food should be ready soon." 

"Th-thank you, sir." 

The king walks away and Dan turns to Phil. "Don't tell me you're eating his bullshit." 

"I'm..." Phil wants to say something he shouldn't, not with Julian there. He looks at him, then turns back to Dan. 

"Julian, would you excuse us?" 

"Of course."  

As Julian walks away too, Dan crosses his arms, waiting for Phil to talk. Phil is not sure if he really wants to say it, after all he finally has some kind of relationship with Dan. They're finally being civil and he doesn't want to ruin it. 

"Dan, he's your dad. Royalty or not, when a parent doesn't know where his son is or if he's safe, I guess that can be terrifying." 

"I wish everyone stopped pestering me," Dan mumbles. 

"Dan, come on." 

Dan sighs, and starts walking up and down. Phil just watches him, not sure what to do, not sure if he _can_ do anything at all. Finally, Dan stops and looks at Phil. "I know it's not you and I know it's not my parents, but I miss being independent. Whenever I come home everyone treats me as a kid and it just sucks." 

Phil hesitates for a second, then when Dan walks past him, Phil puts his hand on Dan's upper arm, stopping him. "If you ever feel that with me, please let me know okay?" 

Dan looks at Phil, and just keeps looking at him, eyes big, lips slightly parted. That feeling is there again; Phil wants to kiss him, he really does. He has a hunch that Dan has the same feeling. But the time is not here and not now. It can't happen like this, where they can be interrupted at any second. Phil drops his arm, but smiles. 

"Yeah," Dan says. 

"I know it's not really my place to say, but you're lucky that your parents are still alive. Annoying or not, being in your face or not, they won't be here always and you'll miss them one day." 

"Phil, I... I didn't even think, I'm sorry..." 

"No, it's okay, I think. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I'm here for you." 

"Back at you." 

They are quiet for a second, before Phil continues. 

"Why are you so mad at your dad, anyways? I mean, it's not my business, but I do want to help you." 

"I..." Dan hesitates for a second. "Tell you later?" 

"Sure." 

 

As they walk to the dining room, Phil tells stupid jokes to cheer Dan up. It works, because by the time they get there, Dan is laughing. Phil loves his laugh, it's loud and quite obnoxious, but it livens the whole place and Phil's life as well. The king and queen are already there; Queen Gwendoline is sitting on a dark red sofa, reading a book, the king is standing by the huge windows, looking at the ocean. When the queen hears Dan's laugh, she looks up, kind of ignoring Phil. 

"Daniel! Come here for a second." 

Dan sighs but goes there; he and his mother quietly talk about something and Phil is just standing there, awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Should he sit down? He wasn't offered a seat, he doesn't want to barge in. He's seriously about to head home (okay, a bit drastic, but it's just sooooo awkward), when the king calls out. 

"Mr Lester, would you care to join me?" 

"Of course, sir." 

Phil goes around the big table (seriously, it's so big, about three dozen seats, give or take) and stands next to the king, maintaining the three feet distance. They are quiet for a bit, but Phil doesn't mind; he's mesmerised by the view. The ocean is slamming again the rocks several feet below. Beyond that, there's nothing but water. The closest land is to the opposite side of the island about 100 miles away. 

It's the king who breaks the silence. "Is it okay if call you Phil?" 

"Yes, of course." 

"How are you, Phil?" 

"I'm good, thank you sir. How are you?" 

King Lawrence laughs loudly (that's where Dan gets it from) then sighs. "Oh, to say the least this is very weird." 

Phil lets out a small chuckle, but he's far too nervous to do anything else. "It is, sir. I apologise for that." 

"No need." The king turns to Phil. "And please, stop with the "sir" thing. Call me Lance." 

Well, as awkward as it is, Phil is going to avoid addressing the king directly as far as possible. Small kingdom or not, the king is still the king. 

"It'd be my pleasure," Phil says finally. 

"Look," the king lowers his voice, "I know my son can be an arsehole sometimes and he is incredibly stubborn and hard to deal with, and I apologise for that." 

"Actually, I think he's starting to let his guard down." 

"Is he now?" 

"I believe so, yes." Phil nods. "There's still some... accepting to do, towards himself, but I think he's getting there." 

"I know this is not your, erm, everyday situation, but everyone's treating it as positively as possible. I'm happy that you're his soulmate, I truly am, even if you decide to, erm, try it as boyfriends." Phil blushes; he realises that he's not only talking to the king, but to Dan's father as well. "You will have people who won't like you, and you will definitely face obstacles, so it won't always be easy." 

"I know. Dan knows, too. I think that's why he has some reservations." 

The king nods. "He has some thinking to do, but like you said: he's getting there." 

"Sir."  The butler comes in; the king turns towards him. "The food is ready." 

"Ah, wonderful, Niles, thank you." 

Dan stands up and looks at his father. "Great! It's time for the awkwardest fucking dinner." 

"Daniel!" The king says. "Watch your language." 

"I'm so fucking sorry." Dan rolls his eyes and winks at Phil. Phil blushes, trying his hardest not to smile. 

"Daniel, that's enough," the queen says quietly, and Dan looks away sheepishly. 

"Anyway... let's eat," the king says, guiding Phil towards the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, in case you're wondering, the butler's name is Niles after the butler in The Nanny which is one of my favourite TV shows ever. But you're probably thinking that I'm weird so I'm just gonna say the Niles seems like a butler-y name (sorry if you're name's Niles :P)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry for being THIS late. I had a dissertation to write, then assignment, then I moved across Europe (again) then a lot of stuff to deal with, but now I'm back! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be but it won't be 200 years from now, that's for sure.
> 
> Beware: grammar issues, I tried to look through it but I'm blind af. Sorry :(
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger warning for mentions of death. Nothing too explicit, just Phil telling how his parents died.**

The dinner is awkward, to say the least. The food is the best he’s ever had, but the room temperature… Well, let’s just say that the king is welcoming enough, however hesitance is radiating from the queen. Phil tries to ignore it, but she is giving him a _look_ ; not hatred, not despise, not even the ‘What are you even doing here’ kind of look. It’s more like the ‘He’s my son, my _only_ son, I will do anything to protect him.’ look. Phil tries to make small chat with the king, trying to include Dan as much as possible, but the queen is still there. Even Dan notices it. 

“Mum, would you mind passing the salt?” Dan asks, but Phil suspects that he only wants to distract his mother.

“Of course, darling.”  She hands him the shaker, but Dan just places on the table. She watches him, then rolls her eyes. “Philip, your parents…” Both Dan and Phil stiffen, then Dan looks at her mother. “They were journalists, weren’t they?”

Phil knows that he can’t _not_ answer. However, Dan being Dan, he takes it upon himself. “Mum, please.”

Phil turns towards Dan. “It’s fine. I have to start at some point.” He looks at Queen Gwendoline, sadness suddenly filling him. “They were. They were working on an article in Luwan, and were about to come home when they got into a car accident. My dad… He died on impact.” 

Dan, who is sitting beside him, puts his hand on Phil’s, a gentle touch, somewhat foreign, but comforting. Phil looks at him and Dan shows an empathetic smile.

“I’m so sorry, Philip,” the king says, lowering his head. “Such an awful thing, to lose your parents at an early age.” 

“Thank you.”

“You’re always welcome here,” the queen says, sending a friendly smile, the first genuine one. “You’re always welcome in our family.”

Phil smiles at her, suddenly not knowing what to say. A simple ‘thank you’ wouldn’t be enough, he’s sure of it. He vaguely remembers what it’s like to have a normal family, what it’s like to come home after a long day to loving parents. He loved his parents so much, adored them, looked up to them. Sure, he was planning to move out, because he still wanted to be independent, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t close to his parents. Now, almost five years after their death, he has a yet another chance of having a family. So no, a simple ‘thank you’ wouldn’t be enough. 

“And I will always be grateful for that.” He does, he really does try his best to aim his reply at the queen, but the urge is there and he looks at Dan.

“So did they tell you how they died exactly?” The queen just keeps asking, and Phil wishes she would just drop the topic. He knows he has to answer, but he just rather not.

Phil swallows; he tastes bitterness in his mouth, along with a little bit of sadness. He sighs and begins telling the story he’s never told. “The revolution in Luwan began with a lot of tension almost a decade ago. But what most people don’t know that it wasn’t because the queen took bribes. It was because she was a commoner, and she somehow got into the royal family. My parents were investigating the story and I guess it was a story that was never meant to be published. They were finishing the interviews in a small village in the middle of nowhere. They’re were in the car, mountain on one side, valley on the other. It was raining and I don’t know if the car slipped or if there was something on the road…” Phil hesitates. It’s hard; it’s hard to think about their accident, but it’s even harder for him to remember them. There’s sadness, and there’s grief he’s been fighting for 5 long years. But there’s also anger. He’s angry, because his parents, his only family, was taken from him too soon. He’s angry, because, as selfish as it sounds, everything was taken from him in mere seconds.

Phil doesn’t know how to finish the story. He reckons, there’s no point really. The room is quiet, as if everything, even the ocean stopped crashing against the walls. It’s a heavy silence, filled with regret, sorrow and, unfortunately, pity as well. He doesn’t like to be pitied. He hates it, he hates that everyone looks at him with the look in their eyes. The look, ‘Oh, there’s that kid who lost his parents when he was 18, and he doesn’t have any other family.’, is the worst. He just hates it.

Dan takes Phil’s hand, under the table. It’s not just a gentle touch, but Dan actually links their fingers together. He’s got a nice hand, Phil notices. Long fingers, smooth(ish) skin. Warm. Something becoming ever so familiar.

Phil looks at Dan. He can tell that the prince wants to say something, but as educated as he is and as eloquent as he can be, he’s at a loss for words. However, his face tells everything and that’s enough for Phil.

The queen is the first one to speak; when she does, her voice is small. “I am… Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss, Philip.”

 Phil smiles at her, but his smile is just a façade. “Thank you, you’re very kind,” Phil says like a practised speech he had to say over and over.

 “Would you excuse us?” Dan lets go of Phil’s hand as he turns towards his father.

“Yes, of course.”

Dan stands up, dragging Phil with him by his sleeve. Phil shoots an apologetic look towards the king and queen. “Thank you for the dinner. It was fantastic.”

Phil has to run to catch up with Dan. Although the prince is smaller than him (only by a couple of centimetres, but still), but he seems to be very sure of himself now. Dan is now talking to himself as he runs through the corridors. Phil thinks they’re going to Dan’s bedroom.

Then, Dan suddenly stops in the middle of a corridor, his back turned towards Phil. There’s a guard nearby, who doesn’t seem to acknowledge that they’re there.

“Howard, would you excuse us?” Dan says with the same confidence.

“Your Highness.” He bows his head, then walks away.

As Dan watches him, Phil wonders what this is about. He’s only known Dan for a couple of days, but he can a bit… sudden? Out of the blue? Phil’s sure that Dan’s mind keeps going and going all the time, thinking about everything, so he’s not surprised per se, he’s just curious what he’s thinking about now.

Everything is quiet. Phil’s suddenly very aware of his own breathing. He stares at the back of Dan’s head, mentally shouting at him: ‘Tell me your thoughts, I want to hear them, I want to savour them.’ He loves the way Dan thinks; as infuriating as it can be, Phil also loves his sudden mood changes.

It’s unusual, sure, this whole situation. Phil’s never really believed that even a prince would get matched. His parents told him about the day when the king and queen got matched. Phil was only about 7, when he heard the story, when he first found out about soulmates, so he didn’t care. But he does remember bits of the royal couple’s story. How the queen was a commoner, how quickly and fiercely the king fell in love with her.

Maybe that’s Dan and Phil’s future. Maybe not. There are soulmates who get married, settle down, live a happy life together. There are also soulmates that lack the romantic interest in each other, but become each other’s everything. Some people stay in the kingdom, some people leave together or separately. It’s a nice little ecosystem, if you will. Births and deaths, marriages and divorces (although that’s not frequent), but everything happens, as it would in a bigger city or kingdom.

He still doesn’t understand how it’s possible for everyone to find their soulmate on a small island kingdom of 700 people. He’s not the first to question it and won’t be the last. Some accept it the way it is, being happy with their soulmates, some don’t. There’s an influx of people moving to the kingdom, hoping for a better future.

But Phil, somewhere in the bottom of his heart, knows that there’s something waiting for them. He’s not sure what exactly, but he can _sense_ , that their story is going to be epic. What a cliché.

“I’m sorry…” Dan says, dragging Phil out of his mind palace. He is still facing away from Phil, but he sounds broken. “About your parents, I mean.”

“Thank you.”

They’re quiet again. Phil wants to say something, and he wants _Dan_ to say something. Then, suddenly, Dan moves and a second later his arms are wrapped around Phil’s shoulder, face buried in the crook of his neck. Chest pressed against chest, Phil can feel Dan’s warmth and if he concentrates hard enough (which he does), he can even feel the prince’s heartbeat. _Ba bump. Ba bump_. It’s fast but steady at the same time. Phil holds Dan. He holds him with all his might, not caring if it lasts for five more seconds or five more years. He holds him, clings onto him, because he is the first person he gets to hold in years and it is nice. So nice.

“I’m so sorry, Phil,” Dan murmurs against Phil’s chest, the words resonating, getting straight into his heart. “Not just about them, but the way I acted… The way I treated you.”

“You needed time to adjust. We all did,” Phil says quietly.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dan lets go of Phil, refusing to look into his eyes. He sighs, then walks to the windows overlooking the ocean. “I wonder… If things would be easier if we both were… You know. Or even if not easier, just different.”

“I don’t know. I guess we never will.”

Dan turns towards Phil, looking into his eyes. He’s smiling, but it’s a small one and doesn’t reach his eyes. “I wish…” Dan doesn’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t need to. Phil somehow know what Dan wants to say: ‘I wish I could give you what you want in this very second.’

“It’ll be somehow. It always is.”

For a few long seconds they are just looking at each other, not knowing what to say or do. It’s a heavy topic and for a while it will be. But they will have to get around it eventually.

Finally, Dan smiles. It’s his brightest, most genuine smile. “Come on, let me distract you.”

Phil raises an eyebrow, because, let’s admit, the statement is _quite_ ambiguous. In response, Dan just rolls his eyes and starts walking deeper into the palace. Phil follows him blindly.

 

By distraction, Dan _obviously_ means video games. They flip through Dan’s massive collection of games before settling on Mario Kart. Phil quickly forgets about everything by the time Dan defeats him for the first time, because _of course_ Dan is good at it.

Phil has to realise that for the first time he’s not stressing about the fact that Dan is the crown prince and he’s just a commoner. No, they’re just Dan and Phil now, casually bantering and laughing, and Dan shoving Phil away or facepalming when the older boy says something cringeworthy.

They keep playing for hours. They raid the fridge around midnight, getting food and drinks because who wouldn’t want to play until the wee hours of the morning when it just feels so natural and so _good?_ Although Phil feels he should leave, he just can’t bear the thought of leaving Dan.

So they play and play, the minutes and hours flying by. Eventually they get tired; their humour becomes so not funny and annoying but they’re tired so they laugh at everything. Dan moves to the bed, taking his jeans off and leaving them in the middle of the room.

Phil stays in the seat, still facing the TV, but he can just about see Dan from the corner of his eyes. Dan is wearing a black boxer and Phil cannot help but check out the swell of his ass. He’s worried that Dan will catch him staring, so he quickly focuses on… fixing his socks? Because why not.

“Come ‘ere.” Dan pats the bed next to him. Phil stands up and walks to his bed, but he keeps hovering. “Don’t be such a spork.” Phil stays still for a second, but he’s already made up his mind. He gets into bed, but tries to be as far away from Dan as possible. Dan gets his laptop, loads up an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and puts the laptop in between them. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not.”

They watch an episode, quietly laughing, but Phil is seriously falling asleep, not remembering scenes. He ends up falling asleep properly, glasses still on, but he’s too tired to care. He _thinks_ he can feel a hand on his before entering the dream.

* * *

 The news breaks the next morning. Phil is lying on his back, a human-like mass on his chest. He opens his eyes, everything looks fuzzy. He wiggles his nose, realising he’s not wearing his glasses. He definitely fell asleep with his glasses on, so he must have taken it off at some point? Maybe?

After a few long seconds he manages to focus on the _thing_ lying on his chest. Brown, curly hair, not moving, but looking at his phone. Dan. _Okay, this is awkward,_ Phil thinks. Then, Dan sits up, reading something at his phone.

“What is it?” Phil asks groggily.

Dan turns back, almost surprised to see Dan awake. “This,” he barks out, shoving his phone in Phil’s face.

Phil takes the phone, squinting as he tries to read it. It’s an internal email, from the king’s advisor.

 

 

> Media blackout until 12:00pm today
> 
>  
> 
> Change of legislation
> 
>   
> 
> King Lawrence and the Royal Court wishes to announce that the Kingdom of Eloren will allow same-sex marriage between anyone, including heirs and members of the Royal Family. This change is effective immediately.
> 
> The Royal Court will officially announce it later today, before informing appropriate press outlets.
> 
>    
> 
> Regards,
> 
>  
> 
> Corina Reed,
> 
> Royal Advisor to King Lawrence
> 
>   
> 
> Claud Talon
> 
> Press Secretary of the Kingdom of Eloren

 

Dan is sitting with his back turned towards Phil. Phil puts the phone down on the bed, staring in front of himself. He knows what this means, but he just cannot comprehend it. This is big. This… This is massive. With this Eloren will become the first kingdom to allow same-sex marriage. In some kingdoms, the heirs can’t even marry commoners, so this is a huge step.

He puts his glasses on, and looks at the back of Dan’s head. “Dan…” Phil starts carefully, not to disturb the waters too much.

“Shut up.” It’s not angry, not annoyed, just… fed up. Dan was _finally_ coming to terms with it, but now, this changes everything.

“Dan, it’s fine, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Yeah, but what will people think?” Dan gets out of bed, and starts walking up and down. “They will get the wrong idea. The status quo, the support, the approval will be weakened. Who knows what’ll happen to the kingdom?” Dan finally looks at Phil which causes Phil’s heart to shatter into a million pieces. His eyes are full of blame. “You should go.”

“Dan, don’t you think…”

“Just go.” Phil doesn’t move. “Now!”

He knows Dan has already made up his mind and that there’s no point arguing with him. Phil leaves the bed, fixing his shirt. The relationship, or friendship, if you will, was so fragile, but it was something. Now with this, everything broke.

“Dan…” He tries saying again.

“Go.”

Phil walks to the door, but turns back to look at Dan. He is now sitting on the edge of his bed, looking broken and lost. “Dan, please, let’s just talk about it.”

“Please, just go,” Dan says, voice breaking. Phil takes one last look, and he thinks he can see tears on Dan’s cheeks. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the biggest chapter to date, about 5.5k. It was a massive and important chapter to write. There are big chunks of text, quite a bit of monologue as well, but I hope it makes sense. Now, I could make this into two chapters, but I don't want to.
> 
> After this, the real story starts, with heavy drama and angst; longer chapters to come. I have a plot planned out, some elements might change, but oh boy, you're gonna be SHOOKETH. Also, I know this is way out of character, so sorry about that. Furthermore, I went back to previous chapters to edit them a bit, taking out some lines to comply with this chapter, but it doesn't alter the story line. SPOILERS: basically, in the earlier version of this story Dan was a bit homophobic towards Phil due to internalised homophobia, but now I changed it, so he acts the way he does because of something that's explained in this chapter.
> 
> I think that's it for this chapter. Sorry for the long note.
> 
> **Warning for mentions of abuse and attempted rape.**

Phil avoids all kinds of media until Sunday evening. He doesn’t go on Twitter, he doesn’t go on Facebook, he doesn’t even check his work email which is a big no-no when you’re a journalist. The only thing he did after getting back from Dan’s was to send an email to his boss to say that he needs a bit of time off, but he’ll be on the ship on Monday, when they are going to Olia.

He wants to, he really wants to, get out of the whole trip. But he can’t. After all, if he wants to be the editor-in chief, this is a trip he can’t afford to miss. So he’ll just have to suck it up a deal with it.

But not until Sunday evening. He instead spends his time rewatching Buffy for the umpteenth time, quoting his favourite lines and pretty much eating every food he has. Then when season 4 is yet again over, and he’s all out of food, he sits in front of his laptop to do some damage control.

It’s not so bad, he thinks, but it’s a lie. It’s not bad for him. For Dan and the royal family it’s scandalous. Every newspaper, magazine and internet news outlet is talking about it. Some are talking about it matter of factly. Some trash sites are talking about his and Dan’s wedding already, while others are convinced they want to make King Lawrence abdicate. Phil can’t help but laugh about that. 

Some, however, get close to the truth. While no one gets the exact details right, some voice their doubt, mirroring Dan’s. They wonder what will happen to the throne as Dan is the sole heir and whether it will mean the end of monarchy. The worst bit of it? One, _The Emerald Times_ contacted Dan’s school in Thelide. They of course refused to provide answers, however someone who went there got wind of it and well… He was more than happy to answer. The article only got published about 20 minutes ago, so either the Palace doesn’t know about it, or they are dealing with it, but Phil’s sure they wouldn’t allow it to remain online.

 

> **Prince Daniel and the future of Eloren**
> 
> By Aretha Watkins
> 
> The news broke earlier this week: same-sex marriage is now legal throught the Kigndom of Eloren. This tiny island kingdom in the middle of the White Ocean with the population of about 700 people is interesting because of three reasons.
> 
> First of all, it is the smallest monarchy both by size of land and by population. Many people have never even heard of it; if they have, they would often have trouble pinpointing it. There a settlements bigger than this country, however emotions run high. King Lawrence and his wife, Queen Gwendoline are loved by everyone in their kingdom; their reputation seem to have spread to nearby kingdoms as well.
> 
> Secondly, there is the issue of soulmate pairing. Most people in the world would find their own soulmates or loves sooner or later. But in  Eloren, soulmates get matched. While no one knows how it works exactly, how the soulmates get determined, it seems to be successful.
> 
> However, the most intriguing piece of information is the following. The crown prince, Prince Daniel, the only child of King Lawrence and Queen Gwendoline, just had his matching ceremony. His soulmate? A journalist working and living in Eloren, Philip Lester. That is right. The heir apparent got paired with not only a commoner, but also a man.
> 
> While there is little known about Mr Lester, the King and Queen seemed to have accepted him in their family. A change in law regarding the issue of same-sex marriage was announced on Monday. While _The Emerarld Times_ reported the news on Monday, we have decided to dig deep.
> 
> We have contacted Prince Daniel’s former school in Thelide, Rutherford Academy. Unfortunately the school has refused to comment at this time, however we were contacted by a former pupil, who happened to be in the same dormitory block with Prince Daniel.
> 
> Due to privacy reasons, we will not be including personal information about our source.
> 
>  
> 
> **Aretha Watkins (AW):** Thank you for joining me, it is a pleasure to have you here.
> 
> **Source (S):** Thank you.
> 
> **AW:** So you have told me that you shared a block with the Prince at the Academy. What was he like?
> 
> **S:** He was nice. Mostly kept to himself, trying to hide that he is the heir apparent, but we all knew. Rutherford Academy is quite an exclusive place; children of oil sheiks, diplomats, celebrities and sometimes even members of royal families go there. The tuition is high, but the quality of education is even higher. So we didn’t really care that Prince Daniel was a prince. He had a few friends, but like I said, he mostly kept to himself.
> 
> **AW:** Have you ever talked to him?
> 
> **S:** Yes, we had a couple of classes together. Seemed to wanting to stay out of trouble. He was a bit rebellious, but nothing out of the ordinary.
> 
> **AW:** Was it a surprise to you that he was matched with a man?
> 
> **S:** A bit. It wasn’t the fact, that who he was matched with, it was rather the fact that the heir apparent was matched with a man. There were rumours on campus though.
> 
> **AW:** What kind of rumours?
> 
> **S:** (hesitates) Look, I don’t want to portray Dan, I mean, Prince Daniel in a bad way.
> 
> **AW:** It’s okay, I understand. Just tell me whatever you can.
> 
> **S:** Even though he didn’t have many friends, rumours were he liked to have people over. Some people said he would sneak them out in the middle of the night, if anyone seen him, he would just play dumb. Boys, girls, it didn’t matter.
> 
> **AW:** Wait, are you saying that you all knew that about Prince Daniel’s relationships?
> 
> **S:** We weren’t _sure_ of it, but we pretty much knew, yes. Then once, in the middle of the night, there was yelling coming from his room. I was on the same floor, everyone heard it. Some people went out to the corridors, some stayed in the room. I opened my door just a bit, so I could see. The yelling, it wasn’t words, more like screaming. It lasted for just a few minutes, but it was scary, even for us. Then his door opened. By then, everyone went back to bed, but I left my door open just a bit. A guy, about 2-3 years older than us, we were 17 then, was leaving his room. Dan came out too, to look after him. His eyes and face were red, like he was hit or something. Dan looked around the corridor, then he saw me. I closed the door. The next day he didn’t come to class. In fact, he missed an entire week.
> 
> **AW:** What do you think happened between him and his mystery guest?
> 
> **S:** Maybe they were fighting, who knows. Dan became depressed after that, lost all his friends. He was in class, then went back to his room. He would often miss lunch or dinner, too. He didn’t speak to anyone.
> 
> **AW:** How do you think this will affect his relationship with his soulmate?
> 
> **S:** Who knows? Dan is… unique. The way he thinks, the way he views the world, the way he is viewed by the world is not ordinary. No one could tell what will happen.
> 
> **AW:** Thank you for your help.
> 
>  
> 
> No one knows what happened on that night. Maybe it is inappropriate for us to publish this article. But I believe it is necessary for us to understand the whole information.
> 
> We have also contacted the palace for further information, however they refused to comment, saying that we already have the press release.
> 
> The following weeks will be determinant for the future of Prince Daniel and the Kingdom of Eloren. A royal summit will be taking place next week in the Grand Duchy of Olia, where Prince Daniel will be present too. What happens to Eloren is in Prince Daniel’s hands now. Talk about pressure.

 

After reading it, Phil just stares at his laptop screen. He feels sick to his stomach. This is really bad. How can they publish something like this? This got out of hand way too quickly.

He reaches for his phone to call Dan, only to realise he doesn’t have his number. He could call Julian, but he need to speak to Dan face to face. After thinking for a second, he pockets his phone, gets his coat and leave his flat. He needs to make sure that Dan is okay.

It’s quite late, the streets are quiet. Thunder rumbles in the distance, some dogs are barking, but they are the only sound. He walks, almost runs to the palace. He reaches the gates, two guards are outside, two are sitting inside an office. One of the guards outside is the guard when he came to the palace with Dan.

“Mr Lester,” he says, raising his eyebrow. It’s not surprising, considering that it’s close to midnight.

“Hi, I know it’s late, but I need to speak to Dan - I mean Prince Daniel.”

“Wouldn’t it be wise to wait until the morning? They are not leaving until midday, and I’m sure whatever it is--”

“It’s urgent. Please.”

The guard takes a long look at Phil’s face, then nods. “Okay. Please wait.” He goes inside the office and calls someone. After about a minute, he comes out, letting Phil inside the gate. “Julian is waiting for you.”

Phil hurries towards the main door. Julian is already standing there. Although it’s dark, and only a couple of light illuminate the door, Phil can see the worry on Julian’s face. Julian is standing in the door, the door ajar behind him. He doesn’t invite Phil in.

“Hey.”

“I guess, you saw the article,” Julian says quietly. “Don’t worry, we are dealing with it.”

“I need to talk to Dan.”

“That wouldn’t be good now, Phil. Dan is refusing to speak to anyone, including his parents.”

“Please, Julian." 

“Phil, I reckon it can wait until the morning.”

“It’s alright,” says another voice behind Julian. Julian opens the door; Queen Gwendoline is standing there.

“Your Majesty.” Phil and Julian bow at the same time.

“Philip. May I speak with you?” Phil steps inside, then follows the queen down the corridors of the palace. They are silent; their steps are echoing on the walls. The queen leads him into a semi-formal sitting room, then takes one of the armchairs. “Please, take a seat,” she says, while pointing at a sofa.

“Thank you.” Phil sits down, looking everywhere but the queen. He hates to think that he’s the reason this happened. The silence gets uncomfortable; Phil feels the urge to say something. “Look, Your Majesty, I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused. This wasn’t my intention.”

The queen sighs. “I don’t blame you, Philip. The truth must come out at some point and it usually happens sooner than later. Being in the public eye is hard, especially for Daniel. The size of our kingdom is not relevant, we are still viewed by many people everyday, here and elsewhere. Growing up, Daniel wanted to avoid spotlight. He was the one who chose to study so far away. Now… Well, we just have to deal with the consequences.” Phil nods, trying to digest the queen’s heavy words. “That’s what we’re doing now. We cannot avoid to be featured in magazines, to have rumour spread around. Once it’s out there, it’s hard to control, but we’ll manage.”

“I understand. Still, I’d like to speak to Dan, if that’s possible.”

Phil can feel the queen’s eyes on him, almost as if she’s trying to see his soul. Finally, she says, “Very well. I’m not sure how he’ll behave towards you, but I believe he needs to let someone close. He’s shutting us out, but maybe you’ll get lucky.”

“Thank you.” Phil stands up and starts walking towards the door. He stops midway, the light bulb in his head suddenly lighting up. He turns around, looking at the queen. “Your Majesty… I’m not sure if you or anyone here will like this idea, but I think I have a way to sort this… chaos.”

“What are you thinking?”

Phil bites down on his lower lip. “Once something is available online, it will always be somewhere, right? That means we couldn’t remove the article, because it would eventually pop up. What I’m thinking is… What if we made our own version of it? What if we… twisted the story, so to speak, so that it benefits us? That way we will be able to control what others make of it.”

The queen stands up too, thinking. Then, she smiles and looks at Phil. “Well, you just need to convince Dan. And whatever you need, I’m sure our press department has it. Oh, and would you mind showing it to me and to Claud as well, before posting it?”

“Of course, Your Majesty."

 

 

Ten minutes, a camera, a microphone and a tripod later, Phil is walking towards Dan’s room. He is filled with ideas and determination. With the queen’s consent, he’s sure this will work. The press secretary seemed to think so, too. Everyone is still up in the palace, trying to deal with the mess. 

Arriving in front of Dan’s suite, loud music is coming from it. Phil wonders if he should just march in. He kind of knows that if he knocked, Dan would refuse to let him in. But no, he’s going to be respectful. So he knocks and the reply comes within seconds.

“Go away.”

“It’s me, Dan, let me in, please.”

Dan turns down the volume. “No, everyone can fuck right off, especially you.”

“Dan, please,” Phil begs, trying to figure out what to say. “We don’t have to talk, we can just play Mario Kart and you can shout at me I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“No, fuck off.”

“No,” Phil says and with that he marches straight into Dan’s room.

Dan is sitting on one of his armchairs, laptop in his lap and blasting music from it. His room is… trashed, to say the least. Clothes, books everywhere and Phil’s not sure if Dan’s just 'packing' or he is being destructive.

“What the fuck!” Dan yells, jumping up. His laptop almost ends up on the floor, but he manages to miraculously save it. “Get the fuck out of my fucking room!”

“No,” Phil repeats, getting more and more sure of himself. He sets the camera and the other equipment down.

“What the fuck do you mean no? I told you to leave! You’re literally invading my bloody privacy!”

“Don’t shut me out, Dan,” Phil begs. He believes, or he’d like to believe that Dan hears his reasons. “I’m here for you, okay? I’d like to help you.”

“Well, I don’t need your bloody help. You’ve caused enough trouble.” 

Phil scoffs and sits down in the other armchair. Dan walks to the other side of the room, he tries to be as far from Phil as physically possible. “Just because a trash magazine published a story with little truth.”

Dan looks at him, and for some reason, Phil can feel both their hearts breaking. Dan’s because he has to, no, he’s _forced to_ relive these events, and Phil’s because he doesn’t know Dan will accept Phil’s help.

Dan slowly walks back to Phil, taking the other chair. When he starts speaking, his voice is quiet, full of hurt and pain. “The hardest wasn’t the whole world finding it out. It was the moment when my mum walked in, crying. I hate being home, I really do, I just want to have a normal life, but I do love my parents. And I hate hurting them.”

“I’m so sorry, Dan.”

Dan shrugs. “Whatever.”

“Let me help you. I talked to your mother, and I came up with something. It won’t fix everything, but it would at least give us some ground.”

“What makes you think that it’d work?”

Phil grins, suddenly feeling that there’s hope, ever so slight. “Well, for starters, I’ve worked as a journalist for quite some time now and I’m so damn talented.” Dan smiles, then starts thinking. Or more precisely, overthinking. They are both silent, Phil doesn’t want to push Dan, but he feels like he has to. “So, I was thinking… We could make a video, where people would get to know the real you and maybe hear whatever you want to share.”

“I don’t know, Phil, it still seems like a bad idea.”

Phil thinks for a second. He wants to place his hand on Dan’s, to calm the him, well, the both of them, but he doesn’t want to push Dan’s boundaries. “Well, how about this? We make the video, we watch it, if you like it, we edit it if needed, then watch it again. At that point, you can still say no, okay?”

Dan looks at Phil, and Phil reckons he must be looking for support or comfort or who the hell knows, but a few long seconds later, Dan nods. “Okay. How do we do this?”

Phil smiles, but then tries to get back to his professional self. “I’ll set the camera up, the lighting and everything. Then we start. I think I’ll stay out of sight, if that’s okay, this is about you. I’ll be just like an interview, okay? I’ll ask some questions, you can choose to answer them, if you don’t like it, ”

Dan tries to help Phil, but instead he just sits in the chair, watching and waiting. 10 or so minutes later, Phil’s done.

It’s a simple set up, really. Dan’s bed is behind him, but the room is big enough and the focus will be on Dan, so hopefully the press won’t be able to get anything gossip worthy. Phil went to get a tripod, then set up the camera facing Dan. Like he said he’s out of sight, sitting to the side. The camera is on eye level, but Phil’s asked Dan to look at him than the camera. He said it’ll be just like a conversation.

“You know, I’ve never really done an interview like this,” Dan admits. He’s clearly nervous; Phil’s tried to distract him, but there’s only so much he could do. “My parents wanted me to stay away from the press as long as possible.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Phil adjust the white balance for the last time, and stifles a yawn. “Sorry, just long night.”

“No shit.” Dan nervously chuckles. They’re both quiet; Dan’s fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, while Phil is looking through some questions he quickly scribbled down. “Sorry I was such a…” Dan stops, looking for the right word.

“A dick? An arsehole? A twat? An idiot?”

“Something like that.” He looks away, and takes a deep breath. “I’m surprised you came, to be honest. And you helping me, well, I’m really grateful.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Thank you.” Both of them stop whatever they’re doing, and instead they just look at each other. Phil has so much to say, but the words don’t seem quite alright to express himself. He wants to say how sorry he is that Dan has to experience this; he wants to say how sorry he is that he’s part of the reason Dan has to relive his demons. Phil also wants to call Dan the world’s biggest wanker for pushing him away, to tell him that he’s acting like a bloody coward instead of facing his feelings. He also wants to tell Dan how much he means to him and how badly he wants to kiss his stupid bloody face. After a few seconds, however, Dan blushes, and clears his throat. “Anyway, should we get started.”

“Yeah, okay.” Phil turns on the camera, and waits a few seconds. He tested the mic and the camera, so the audio should be good enough. He counts to three, showing his fingers to Dan as well. Dan is looking at Phil, and as Phil starts speaking, the only thing he can focus on is that this is him proving to Dan that Dan, in fact, deserves the best. Phil starts with a nice intro he came up with while he was setting up. “Earlier today, an article was published in _The Emerald Times,_ regarding the heir apparent to the throne of the Kingdom of Eloren, Prince Daniel James. As we all know, once something is on the internet, it’s there forever. Prince Daniel allowed me to make an exclusive interview with him, so that the truth is the truth, not a fable made up by the media.” Phil looks at Dan and smiles. “Thank you for allowing to do this.” Dan smiles at Phil, but doesn’t say a word. “Now, the article mentioned your soulmate matching ceremony. How did you feel afterwards?”

Dan sighs. Phil knows that he doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he is forced to and has no other choice. “Surprised, to say the least. I grew up knowing that one day I will meet my soulmate, too. I grew up knowing that no matter what happens, someone is out there. I grew up knowing that there is a girl, in Eloren, who is my perfect match. Then I found that everyone was wrong. I was indeed matched with a guy.” Dan smiles sadly. “It’s a shame, really. If I was just a… random person living in a small house or flat, working maybe in the corner shop, smiling everyone, everything would be so much easier. I would’ve probably asked poor guy out by now.”

Phil raises his eyebrows. He has to edit this out, but he’ll keep this bit for himself. “Really, now?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Calm your tits, Phil. Probably, yeah. Or more likely would’ve come up with a convoluted plan and coerced poor soul to ask me out.” They both laugh, how painfully true this is. “Anyway. I guess, the fact that I’m the heir makes it so much harder. I have to think about the future of the kingdom, as well. Given that this is such a small kingdom, the line of succession is rather tiny. I don’t have any siblings, my dad has a brother but… He’s not fit for ruling. “ Phil nods. Prince George, while he is the nicest, loveliest person in the kingdom, has Down syndrome. “So it’s up to me, really. To think about the future, my heirs. And while it is possible to adopt, and even marry, thanks to the change in law my father published earlier this week, I also have to think about if future generations would accept semi-legitimate heirs. We can’t know, obviously. Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn’t. In my eyes they would be legitimate, but I’m not sure how people of the kingdom would react. To ensure the future of the kingdom, I have to consider all factors.”

“Of course.” Phil sadly smiles and hesitates. “I thought you hated me because your soulmate was a guy.”

Dan laughs, it’s loud and a bit obnoxious, but genuine at the same time. “Of course not, you spork. I was… delighted. I’ve always interacted with guys more easily, more naturally, platonically and otherwise. I’m sorry I treated you the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve it. And to be with you, to spend time with you, it was so easy and felt so good. I just… It’s hard, like I said.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, should we continue?” Dan asks and Phil just nods.

“Now, and I know this is a sensitive subject, we could talk about that incident your former schoolmate mentioned.”

“Sure.”

“Just let us know however much you feel like sharing and we can stop at any time you want.”

“Thank you.” Dan clears his throat and his figure seems to get smaller in his armchair. “It was my… Third year of the academy. I loved being there, away from the crazy royalty issues here. Like… The source said,” Dan wants to say the guy’s name as Phil’s sure he knows who the source was,” I was no one, really. I wasn’t exotic in a place crowded with people like me. And I loved it, I loved every single minute of the freedom. I was just a regular teenage guy, dipping his toes into dating. Yes, I wasn’t picky. This will affect my reputation, but the truth is out there. I was dating girls. I was dating boys. I even dated non-binary people, because I didn’t care what gender they were. I still don’t. I’m not ashamed of this. Anyways, the third year came, and by November, I knew it would be my best year. Then I met a guy. He was a bit older than me, and I knew the risks. I was still a minor so I wasn’t gonna sleep with him, but I liked him. I really did. We were in a relationship for a couple of months, he knew how old I was and…” He suddenly stops, shuddering.

Phil stands up, turning the camera off. He then walks over to Dan, crouching in front of his chair. He doesn’t want to, he doesn’t know if he can, put his hand on Dan’s knee. Instead, he just says, “You don’t have to, Dan.” Dan nods, looking down to his lap. He starts fidgeting with his shirt. “We’ll stop, okay?”

“No,” Dan says sadly, but surely. “It doesn’t help me, but it might help others.”

“You sure?” Phil risks putting his hand on Dan’s.

“Yeah.” Dan looks at Phil, smiling. “I am.” Phil sits back in his chair, turning the camera on. He counts to three, then signals Dan that he can start speaking. Phil’s just a machine now; hearing Dan’s story, just not processing most of it. He cannot let his emotions get in the way of his professionalism. “Anyway, like I said, after a few months he started pressuring me into having sex. I said no. He understood. We repeated this for a few weeks. Then, one night he came over, unannounced. He had a bit to drink, but he wasn’t drunk, his inhibitions were gone though. He told me he wants to sleep with me, but I kept saying no. Things got… overheated, at first. He started shouting, and I quote, because I feel like I have to, “You’re a little tease for not willing to put out.” He started calling me names, telling me how horrible I am. I asked him to leave. He didn’t, he just kept yelling profanities. At that point, I raised my voice, too, though I don’t really remember what was said. I remember telling him to get out, but he just refused to. I didn’t want to get violent, but he eventually did. He started hitting me, but it wasn’t that bad, I mean it obviously was, but it was merely anything compared to what he did next. He shoved me, first against my wardrobe, then shoved me on the bed. He fisted my clothes, wanted to rip it off, I guess. He lost his balance for a second, and I kicked him. I yelled at him, told him to leave me alone or I’ll have him thrown in prison or something. He then left, thankfully.”

“I’m so sorry,” Phil says. He wants to stop the recording, and just hug Dan’s pain and sorrow away.

“Thank you.” Dan sniffles, then straightens up in his chair. “That’s why I want to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. His name is Elliot Spencer, son of Otto Spencer, Luwan’s ambassador to Thelide. Send the defamation charges, but be prepared to go to jail for assault and who knows what else.”

Dan stays silent for a second and Phil uses this moment, to break out of character. “Are you sure you want to mention him?”

“Yeah. And keep the footage please.” Dan smiles at Phil. “Also, I will be starting an awareness raising campaign, both in Eloren and possible participating countries. Its goal would be to make sure that things like this don’t happen again. Unfortunately, men like Elliot, men who are protected by their father’s wealth and power, think they are entitled to everything and everyone. I know what’s it like to experience this, and let me tell you, it’s horrible. Now, while its exact details are unclear, as I just came up with this, I can promise you, if you’re out there and experiencing this, that I will make this happen.”

Phil looks at his questions, but they don’t seem to be good enough now. Instead, he just throws them on the floor and looks at Dan.

“Thank you for your honesty, Prince Daniel. And thank you on behalf of those who are going through something like this and believe there’s no way out. Thank you, again.”

Dan smiles and stands up as Phil stops the video. Dan walks to his windows, looking out into the dark ocean. Phil hesitates for a second. There is nothing to say that seems appropriate. He just wants to hold and comfort Dan, to make sure he’s okay. He walks to the windows as well, but keeps his distance from Dan.

“Thank you for persuading me,” Dan says, turning towards Phil, slowly walking towards him. “I don’t know what will happen now, but it felt good to talk about it. Even if this doesn’t end up online, it did feel good to say it out loud. And it’s good that you know it, too.” Dan stops a feet away from Phil.

“I’m sorry that you were forced to. And I’m sorry I forced you to relive it.” Phil carefully lifts his hands and places them on Dan’s jaw, underneath his ears. Kissing him would be the easiest thing to do right now.

“I feel better, to be honest. I was so worried to tell you, because I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”

“This doesn’t alienate me, if that’s what you think. We all have our demons and darkness to fight.”

“I guess,” Dan says, then sheepishly looks away.

Phil, being the stupid idiot that he is, risks everything and pulls Dan into a hug, holding him tight. Dan’s only a bit smaller than Phil’s tall and lanky frame, but somehow he fits perfectly. Like he was meant to be hugging him. He smells nice, too. Soap. Familiarity. Safety.

He lets go after a minute, because he doesn’t want Dan to think that he’s being weird. Instead, he just looks out the window, admiring the stars. Dan looks that way as well, shoulder close to Phil’s, not pressed against him, but Phil can still feel warmth radiating from Dan.

“You have an amazing view, you know,” Phil says.

“I love the stars. It’s so vast and makes you believe you don’t really exist, like it’s statistically impossible for you to exist. But it’s also nice. Calm.”

Phil smiles. They’re both quiet for a while, just enjoying the relaxing atmosphere. But Phil has a bomb to drop, and it’s getting late and he should really head home, considering he still has to edit the video.

“Tomorrow’s the anniversary of my parents. Well, I guess today, considering it must be after midnight now.”

“I’m so sorry Phil.”

“I know we’re leaving in about 12 hours, but I want to go to the cemetery before we go, and… I know this is a lot to ask, but I was wondering if you would come with me.”

Dan looks at Phil, eyes big, and wondering. Phil has to look away, because he can’t look at Dan, be so infatuated with him and think about his parents at the same time.

“Are you sure? I mean, I would like to come, but I don’t want to disturb.”

“You wouldn’t, that’s why I’m asking you to come.”

Phil looks back at him, and he can feel that he’s falling in love with this boy, or maybe he already loves him on some level, but he feels getting more and more involved with this stupid prince and he can’t help it and doesn’t even want to.

“Yeah,” Dan nods, putting his hand on Phil’s.

“I should go now. It’s getting late and you need to sleep.”

Dan doesn’t move his hand. Instead, he entwines his fingers with Phil’s. “Could you stay the night? I don’t want to be alone. Or if not, at least for a bit.”

And Phil wants to say no, because he knows he should, but he doesn’t want to. “Yeah.”

Dan goes into his bathroom to change and gives a spare set of pyjamas to Phil, who changes too. They get into bed, Dan immediately curling into Phil, sighing contently. It takes a few seconds for Phil to relax, but he does and it’s the best sleep he gets in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr [@outphan](http://outphan.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta: the amazing, wonderful Sam ([ @themostbritishamerican on tumblr)](http://www.themostbritishamerican.tumblr.com)  
> Playlist: [ this one here (eh it's something, but it does help me write) ](https://open.spotify.com/user/jena116/playlist/5IidWpTVuB51R1UOkGvn3g)

Yes, it is the best sleep, but he keeps waking up, because a  _ little shit  _ is clinging onto him, and he’s too hot and too restricted, but he’s too tired to say anything. At some point, he can’t take it anymore and says something.

“Move, you leech.” 

“No, I’m comfy,” Dan mumbles sleepily, and pulls Phil even closer, which, let’s face it, it’s impossible

“Argh, I hate you,” Phil says, but his voice is full of affection and he can’t hide it, not that he wants to.

“I know you do, darlin’.”

The next sound that comes out of Dan is a quiet snore, but it’s not disturbing, it helps Phil to sleep.

 

The alarm on Dan’s phone goes off at 7:30. Phil is currently on a tiny segment of Dan’s massive bed, because Dan is sprawled out, and somehow still manages to have his limbs entangled with Phil’s. Dan smacks the screen, then throws it on the floor.

The previous night they agreed on the schedule quite easily. Get up half an hour before they’re supposed to, have a lie-in, go separate ways to get ready for their trip (both of them have to pack, of course), then Phil would have his stuff collected (what a luxury) and then they would meet at 10 by the church and visit the graves of Phil’s parents.

It’s hard. It’s hard that he had to move on. It’s hard that he could. It’s hard that he’s happy now when he has no one to share it with. Phil misses his parents more than anything, but he also knows they’d want him to have a happy life.

“What are you thinking about?” Dan asks, putting his head back on Phil’s chest.

“Kind of everything.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know. Okay, I guess. I’ve moved on, because I had to and because they would want me to.”

“I’m so sorry, Phil.”

“It’s okay. I just still feel guilty.”

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want distraction?”

Phil puts an arm around Dan, pulling him closer. He’s surprised he did it, however he’s more surprised Dan lets him. “Distraction. That’s the real world. I know this sounds bad, but I wanna be in this happy bubble for now.”

Dan snuggles closer and it makes Phil’s heart sing. It’s not much, but it’s everything for  him. It’s nice to hold him. They are quiet for a few minutes, but Phil doesn’t mind. It’s nice just to enjoy this sleepy morning and it also lets his mind catch up on everything.

He still feels alone, but it’s definitely letting up. Being this close to Dan definitely helps. It doesn’t exactly ease his pain, but it’s something. Growing up, Phil had always been terrified of losing his parents. He knew it would happen, he knew it was coming, but he just refused to believe it. One thing he knew was that his parents would cheer him the loudest at his graduation, at his matching ceremony, when he gets his degree. But they died before his ceremony. He went to it alone. He was there alone. He went back home alone, to an empty flat.

Phil was about to start his second year of university when his parents died; he was doing an online degree, so he was living at home to save money. But he couldn’t stay. He couldn’t stay in the house where he grew up, where his parents lived. Where they would never come home to. He sold the house, and bought his current flat on the opposite end of the island.

Phil shifts in Dan’s bed as bad memories keep coming.

“Phil, what’s wrong?”

“I hate this day,” Phil sighs. “I wish… I wish I could just sleep through today.”

Dan turns a bit, biting down on his lower lip before shyly putting his hand on Phil’s cheek. “I hate to see you in such pain. If only I could help somehow.”

Phil smiles gently. “You  _ are  _ helping. Now come back here, you nugget.”

Dan falls back next to Phil with a laugh. He puts his arm across Phil’s torso. “Wow, what a nice insult, you turtle.”

Phil rolls his eyes. He’s noticed that Dan acts funny whenever Phil gets close to his neck. They only have about 10 minutes left before they have to be responsible adults, so maybe… Maybe for once Phil can be a bit of a jerk.

“Hey, Dan? I was wondering… Are you ticklish?”

Dan’s eyes go wide, with shock and fear. Phil tries not to laugh, trying to maintain a straight face, because he needs this, he needs to see Dan suffer for all his dickishness.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Dan says, but it’s too late, Phil is already tickling him wherever he can get his hands on, more precisely on his sides. Dan is wriggling, trying to get free. In the process, Phil ends up on top of Dan, this way gaining some leverage and he is absolutely  _ ruthless.  _ Within a minute, Dan is screaming and laughing, shouting incoherent things. “No, stop it, you prick, I will murder you!” Dan screams, apparently too loudly because a guard rushes into Dan’s room.

“Your Highness, is everything…” The guard starts, but he quickly realises what’s happening. Phil, however, is still tickling Dan. “I’ll just…” The guard says, but Phil is not paying attention to him, not really, when he has something better to do.

“No, stop it, I hate you,” Dan yells, but his screams turn into laughs.

“Nope.” Phil focuses on his fingers, trying to find the best spot. Dan moves, Phil also moves his hands, and it somehow ends up on Dan’s neck. Dan screams again, but this time it’s much worse, it’s full of horror. “Is it that bad?”

“Continue and I’ll kick you out of the fucking ship.”

Phil stops for a second. Does this really worth drowning in the ocean?

Definitely.

Phil continues tickling Dan’s side with one hand, while the other is on his neck. It’s ruthless, it’s cruel, but it’s so fun to see Dan  _ suffer. _

Eventually Dan manages to push Phil off of himself. Phil lays down on his back; both of them are taking heavy breaths and laughing. 

“You did deserve it,” Phil says, staring at Dan’s ceiling. “For being a dick.”

“Well, okay, I deserved  _ some _ of it, but that was horrible!” Dan weakly punches Phil in the arm. They stay silent for a few minutes, their breaths slowly becoming even and their laughs disappearing. Phil’s mind is blank, just happy to be in this bubble with Dan. After a while, Dan breaks the silence; his voice is quiet, unsure. “Phil?”

“Yes?” Phil looks at him, however Dan is staring at the ceiling.

“Can…” He stops mid-sentence, unsure and hesitant. Phil can see as the younger boy changes his mind. “We should go. There’s a lot to do.”

“Yeah, sure.”

As he gets ready to leave, Phil cannot help but wonder what Dan wanted to ask.  _ Can we stay here forever? Can we run away? Can you hold me just a little bit tighter? _

_ Can I kiss you? _

Those are the questions running through Phil’s head.

 

They soon go on separate ways. Phil has a shit ton of packing to do, not just his clothes, but his equipment as well, cameras, back up batteries, and chargers. Because of the lie-in, he’s forced to do something he actively avoids: he runs from the palace to his flat, almost tripping three times, and just generally embarrassing himself in the process.

He throws some clothes in a suitcase, then gets his suit and tuxedo and places them in protective bags. He then fills another bag with his journalist stuff, lingering over the printed out schedule. Today is for travelling, the actual diplomacy starts tomorrow. Phil is actually looking forward to spending 24 hours on a ship with Dan. Hey, even if he becomes his usual douchey self, there’s nowhere to go.

After a quick shower, he’s barely dressed when there’s a knock on his front door. He just manages to button his shirt, when the second, more impatient knock comes.

“Yeah, yeah, coming.” As he opens the door, he is surprised to find Dan there, with Julian standing behind him. They agreed to meet there. “Oh, hi?”

“Don’t be so surprised to see me, Lester,” Dan says with a grin. “Julian will take your stuff cause time’s a bit tight.”

“If it is, I mean if we have to go right away, we can skip the cemetery.”

“Nope,” and that’s all Dan says.

 

The cemetery is in one of the most beautiful spots of the island. Weeping willows and wisterias surround the land; cypress trees line the path leading to it. Phil knows that his mum would like it here, it’s lovely and peaceful. Their graves are on the opposite side of the cemetery, under a large willow. Phil comes here often, especially when he feels stressed or just done with the world. Being close to his parents helps. It’s painful, but at least he gets to spend time with them.

Phil quietly walks to their graves, carefully navigating through the maze. He’s vaguely aware that Dan is somewhere behind him. He stops nearby their grave, and waits for Dan to catch up?

“Could you do me a favour?” Phil asks softly. “Could you give me a minute with them alone?”

Dan puts his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Of course.”

There’s a huge stone sitting on his heart; he feels like he’s about to suffocate. Guilt still tortures him, even after five years. He often wonders if there is anything he could’ve done.

“Hi guys.” He sits down on the grass, then takes a long look at their headstones. They were too young to die, only 45. They had so much time ahead. “Mum, I brought your favourite. Pink carnations. They’re beautiful. Estelle said she put them aside just for you.” He smiles as he places the bouquet on her grave, but it fades quickly. “I miss you. You too, dad.” He sighs. “I wish you guys were here. I wish you could see me now, doing my job and living my life. I hope you’d be proud of me.” Phil wonders if they would be indeed. He didn’t become a journalist to please his parents, he really loves what he does. “Anyway, I finally got matched this year. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, but life’s been… hectic. I’m going abroad. I’m going with the royal family to the Seven Kingdom Summit today. It should be fun. But anyways, I’m getting sidetracked here. Before you died, I didn’t have the chance to talk to you guys about this, but… I’m gay, I guess. I know you wanted me to find a girl, but it didn’t happen like that. So I found out who my soulmate is. And yeah, it was… surprising.” Phil looks around, until he finds Dan. He is looking at other graves. “Dan!” Phil calls out to him.

Dan slowly walks to Phil, sitting down next to him. “You okay?” Dan asks, bumping his shoulder against Phil’s.

Phil nods, then turns back to his parents’ graves. “This is Dan. You might know him as Prince Daniel.” He chuckles. “It was a massive surprise. I waited for years, only to be matched up with this weirdo.”

“Hey!”

“He’s a good kid,” he tells his parents, but he is looking at Dan. “He is a weirdo nonetheless, but it’s okay that way. Normalness leads to sadness.”

Dan blushes and looks away. “You did a good job with him,” Dan says to Phil’s parents. “He’s so kind and funny, and a great person overall.”

“What a sap.”

“You like it.”

Phil smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He wants to kiss Dan, but it can’t happen now, it’s not appropriate. “Anyways, now that you met Dan, we should get going. We’re leaving soon.”

“We can… you can stay a bit longer. I’m gonna go back home, so that you can spend a bit more time with them.”

Dan is in the process of standing up, when Phil reaches after him. He gets hold of his hand, entangling their fingers. “Stay. Please.”

“Okay.”

Dan sits back down, close to Phil, their hands still linked together. They don’t talk, just sit there in quietly, holding hands. For the first time in days, Phil doesn’t think, just enjoys the sunshine and Dan’s closeness.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy would ya look at that! A new chapter!   
> Yeah, either there's no update to this fic for a year or write a chapter in 2 days. Anyway, I'm baaaack.  
> I'm really sorry you had to wait this long. If you're still around, wanting and waiting for the update, thank you so so so much, I really appreciate it. This is for all the people waiting for an update, you're the best!
> 
> Unbetad, sorry about the mistakes.

Growing up, Phil would often wonder what falling in love would feel like. Would it happen slowly? Would he wake up one day realising he’s already there? Would there be massive neon signs? Or would it happen without any warning, just something in his heart, some little voice telling that he cannot exist without this specific person? He’s read many books, he’s seen many films, but to imagine it would be like this…

Sitting in the graveyard, holding hands with Dan, brings some ease to Phil. He knows it’ll be okay. He knows, whatever happens, it will always be okay. He’s got Dan now. And to see him, accepting that Phil still has some issues to deal with, means the whole world to him. 

So no, falling in love doesn’t always knocks or barges in through the door; by the time you realise it, it’s already inside of your heart, ready to burst.

 

When they get down to the docks, the ship is ready to set sail. It turns out, even though they’re only two minutes late, they’re the last to arrive. Julian says hi to Phil, then begins scolding Dan, who just rolls his eyes.

The ship is beautiful. This is Phil’s first time on it, so he’s allowed to stare at it. It’s not big though, not that Phil has anything to compare it with, the last time he left the island was… God knows when. And even back then he took the twice-a-week ferry.

“You okay? Dan asks, bumping his shoulder against Phil’s.

“Yeah, sorry. Never really seen the inside of the royal ship.”

“Want a tour?”

“Like the one you gave me in the palace?” Phil teases, his tongue poking out.

“Very funny. We have about an hour before the debriefing starts, so if you want to…”

“You make it sound like we’re spies.”

“Aren’t we?” Dan smiles and walks towards one end of the ship.

Phil quietly follows him. As it turns out, the tour is only them going to the kitchen, getting snacks, then heading back to Dan’s room. Phil doesn’t even know where he’ll be staying, but he doesn’t exactly care.

Dan flops down on his bed, then starts playing on his phone. The room itself isn’t big, considering the size of the ship, but it’s still pretty spacious. A king size bed, flat screen TV, a bathroom with a bathtub big enough to fit two people, but the best thing? A small balcony.

“You mind if I…” Phil asks, but Dan is not even paying attention to him. Phil quietly opens the sliding door and walks out to the balcony.

They haven’t left the docks yet, but open sea is ahead of Phil. He knows that the trip will take about a day, surrounded by nothing but water. It doesn’t exactly help his motion sickness, but he’s excited enough to suppress it for now.

The air smells the same: salty and freeing, it’s not different from anywhere on the island. Yet, it’s a whole new thing. It feels… He turns his head towards Dan, who is still on the bed, now on this stomach. It feels good. In fact, it feels wonderful, like there’s no other thing in the world. Nothing’s changed: seagulls are screaming all over the place, the island is still the same, small and almost undiscovered and he’s still Phil, the dorky guy who likes stupid TV shows and wears mismatched socks. But he’s on a freaking ship with Dan, his soulmate who also happens to be the crown prince.

He doesn’t mind though, they’ll make it work. Despite only knowing him for a couple of days, Phil cares about Dan more than anything. Sure, it sounds like a cheesy chick-flick, but they were meant to be, and not just because the soulmate ceremony.

“What’s up?” Dan says. They both jump when the ship’s horn toots and starts moving very slowly.

“The sky,” he replies but before Dan could say anything, Phil continues, “and I’m allowed to say that just this once so let me have that.”

Dan smiles at him and walks out to the balcony as well. “Alright, dork.”

He sits down on the bench and pats the space next to him. Phil sits, not so accidentally bumping his knee against Dan’s. “Do you ever get used to it?” he asks, looking out into the ocean. The ship is slowly but steadily gaining speed.

“Not to some bits of it, no.” Phil’s vaguely aware that Dan’s not looking at the water but he doesn’t dare to turn his head. “It keeps surprising me, to be honest. I expect one thing, but then something else, something completely different happens. I like those.”

They sit there quietly for a few minutes. As they are facing away from the island, they can’t see it get smaller and more distant. There’s nothing ahead but the ocean and sunshine.

But, with each moment, Phil can feel his motion sickness getting worse and worse. “You don’t get seasick then, do you?” he asks, then takes a deep breath, trying to calm his queasiness. 

“No, I don’t.” He laughs. “When I have to do this trip a good couple of time a year, it’s easy to get used to it.” Phil doesn’t reply. He decides to keep his mouth shut, because throwing up in front of Dan wouldn’t be entirely attractive. He can also feel his stomach doing flips and he’s pretty sure he went from pale to whiter-than-white in the matter of seconds. 

“You mind if I lie down?” But he’s already walking inside. Doesn’t even care that it’s not his bed or even room. He can’t even be bothered to ask Dan if he can use his bed or ask him to show his actual room. He flops down on it, deciding he can deal with that later; right now, he needs to lay down and stay very still.

Phil is just lying there, eyes closed, hoping this feeling goes away. His breathing is slow and ragged, trying to keep it as even as possible. After a few seconds, he’s vaguely aware of some  _ pat pat pat  _ noise coming towards him, then the bed dips. He opens his eyes to see Dan putting his headphones in then pressing play on a video. Phil closes his eyes once again as he remembers  _ this  _ is why he doesn’t  like to leave the island.

At some point, he’s not really sure how or why, his head ends up in Dan’s lap who’s stroking his hair. It reminds him of his mum (what a thing to think about when the guy you’re slowly falling in love with is stroking your hair) and how she used it to soothe him. She used to speak slowly to him when he was upset, telling tales of bunnies and sheep playing. When he was little, it was the best thing and it feels the same right now. He always remembers that memory when he’s upset. It reminds him of home, of a simpler time. Now, here with Dan, is something like that.

After a while, he doesn’t feel like he’s about to projectile vomit. The awful feeling subsides and the room stops spinning around him as well. He ends up falling asleep. He wakes a bit once, half conscious to notice that Dan is gone, but he goes back to sleep pretty much right away. 

 

When he wakes for good, it’s getting darker outside. With his motion sickness gone (although he tries not to think about it, in case it decides to come back), it’s easier to function. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Dan says and without even looking, Phil knows he’s smiling. “Wow, you know how to sleep.”

“What time is it?”

“Like seven? You slept for like six hours, to kudos to you, mate.”

“Urgh…” Phil rubs his eyes and takes his time sitting up. He doesn’t remember taking his glasses off, so it must’ve been Dan. But it’s not good he fell asleep, he is supposed to be working. He needs to edit the video. “What did I miss?”

“A lot of boring stuff with a pinch of even more boring shit.” He rolls his eyes at Dan. “Alright, fine. Just the usual stuff. We went over the names of a bunch of royalties and diplomats. I actually had to take notes of the topics to avoid.”

“Wow, you had to do work.” Phil shows a very fake shocked face. “How awful.”

“Shut up.” But Dan’s grinning. He likes teasing and he likes to be teased. A lot, as it turns out. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Mum asked why you’re not there and I had to say you were working on the project.”

“Oh shit, yeah.” Phil jumps out of bed, almost hitting Dan’s face with his elbow but he’s too busy to notice. He gets his laptop out of his bag, then sits next to Dan on the bed again. “Right, give me 20 minutes to do the video.”

“You have like 15 hours till we get there, so you have plenty of time.”

Phil gives him a quick look, but Dan just goes back to watching videos. Determined to prove him wrong, he gets to work, copying the footage from the memory card into a folder on his laptop.

He likes watching through all the footage before deciding what stays and what goes. He can’t help but grin when video-Dan says ‘I would’ve probably asked the poor guy out by now.’ The shameless flirting, too. A small voiced doubted Dan’s feelings towards him up until now, but just by rewatching this bit, that voice is completely gone. Instead, there’s a louder one shouting what a dork Dan is and Phil would be stupid to let him go.

But, hearing him to talk about the line of succession breaks his heart. The burden on his shoulders is enormous; the fact that he’s only 19, but already has to think about the future of a kingdom makes Phil sad. He wants to take Dan by the hand and just run, hide somewhere far away from everything and everyone.

He looks up to present-Dan, who’s obliviously watching videos next to him. He’s smiling at the screen, laughing occasionally, but Phil can see some sadness in his eyes. The pressure on him regarding the kingdom, the past couple of days and now the article. His world, figuratively speaking, is exploding around him and that’s way too much for anyone, let alone for a 19-year-old.

Phil shakes his head and gets back to work. He wants to finish it as soon as possible, hand it over to the press secretary and then have an evening where they’re not Prince Daniel and Phil Lester, his soulmate, but simply just Dan and Phil.

When video-Dan starts talking about the assault, Phil wants to pay attention emotionally, he really does. But once he hears and sees him hurting, even on the footage, his emotional self just shuts down and automatically does what he’s best at: he puts a mark where stuff needs to be cut out, makes a mental note to correct the sound levels. Then, once the footage stops, he starts cutting and making sure everything is in order and as it should be.

He’s used to editing longer and bigger stuff, often with multi-camera set up, so this interview was nothing. Indeed, 20 minutes later, he pokes Dan on the shoulder, who takes his headphones off and looks at him.

“It’s done. Want to watch it before I show it to your mother?”

Dan is quiet for a second then he shakes his head. “No, I trust you. You left the bit about… him in, right? And the bit where I said I’m doing the thing? Cause I meant that.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Okay.” Dan smiles a bit, then it gets wider when Phil’s stomach growls. “I was thinking we could eat here. Although, you sure that’s the best idea? You might be…”

“Do not dare to say the s-word. I’m fine now, don’t want to jinx it.”

“Alright, dinkus.” Dan rolls his eyes and sits up. “I’ll ask someone to bring us some food while you deal with that,” he says as he waves his hand towards Phil’s laptop. “I’m craving sweet potato fries and chicken nuggets, is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

As Dan leaves, Phil copies the exported video file back onto the memory card. As soon as he leaves the room, he runs into Julian.

“Dude, I could kiss you. I didn’t wanna say this in front of him, but I have to work less, running after the snotty-nosed bastard was more than a full-time job. My wife is happy because I’m home more,” Julian says with a huge grin.

“Glad I could… help?”

“You did more than that.” Julian is now winking. Phil slowly realises the real meaning behind it and it’s something he doesn’t really want to think about. “Anyway, what’s up? We missed you at the debrief.”

“Yeah, I was working on the video. Actually, could you give this to Mr Talon?” Phil could too, but he finds him to be intimidating. Talon used to be his English teacher in school, before he accepted the job of press secretary. The memories he has with him are not all positive.

“Yeah, no worries. The prince?”

“In the kitchen.”

“As always.” Julian takes the memory card and walks away.

Phil goes back to the bedroom. The happy evening can’t start without food and a good movie, so he loads one of his favourite films on his laptop. He knows Dan will probably laugh at it, but it needs to happen.

Dan comes back 15 minutes later, with a tray of food enough for 4 people. He’s also balancing two (thankfully empty) glasses on it. He puts the tray on the bed and barks a quick ‘be right back’, before leaving the room again. Phil expects him to bring two more trays, but when he comes back he’s takes two bottles of rose from under his T-shirt. Phil gives him a look and Dan stares back.

“What?”

“You’re hiding bottles of wine like an alcoholic.”

Dan puts the bottles on the bedside table and sits next to Phil, facing him. “Oh, so you want me to call my mum who’s not only that but also the queen of the country where you live and tell her you’re gonna get her beloved son wasted.”

Phil picks up a fry and throws it at Dan. “Who said anything about you drinking?”

Dan laughs. He opens one of the bottles and pours some into the glasses, handing one to Phil. “So what are we watching?” he asks as he leans against the pillows, balancing the tray on his chest.

“Well, this is cheesy and stupid, but I really want to rewatch A Goofy Movie.”

“Well, that’s a good film, so hit play.”

 

By the time the film is over, one of the bottles is gone and the food is all eaten. Phil knows he shouldn’t be eating heavy foods and he definitely shouldn’t be drinking because those all make his motion sickness worse. But it feels so damn good because he gets to spend time with Dan.

“It’s a good film,” Dan says with a giggle. He closes Phil’s laptop and puts it under his pillow. He switches the overhead light on. Then, he settles back down. During the film they got closer and closer, but now, Dan is clearly pressed against Phil. “Another?” He lifts his empty glass and points at the other bottle.

Phil tipsy, unfiltered brain starts talking. “We could play some drinking game.”

“Truth or dare is always fun, but we should make it dare and dare.”

“God, fine.”

Dan fills his then Phil’s glass. “You can go first.”

“Uhh…” Phil’s mind is blank.  _ Well _ , it’s not, but he’s not drunk enough to even think about what he wants Dan to really do. “Find Julian and tell him you love him.”

Dan takes a sip of his wine. “I’ll do that, drunk or not.” He gets his phone and types out a message for Julian. Before he sends it, he shows it to Phil. ‘I love youuuuuuuu’ followed by a bunch of different heart emojis. “You’re boring, find something better next time.”

“I’m not boring,” he says, downing half of the wine in his glass.

“Okay, I dare you to… Dance to Barbie girl.”

Phil blushes. “Have you seen me  _ walk _ ?”

“Come on, it’ll be sexy.” Dan now laughs and just stares at Phil as he gets up. “Oh shit, the music.”

Phil awkwardly lingers while Dan starts the music. Once it’s playing, he starts swaying, but it’s kind of just pretend. Then, Dan joins him and he’s going for it. He moves his body with abandon, moving his arms and legs awkwardly, like he’s doing some ritual mating dance. Phil laughs at him because he’s just so adorable, but then he joins in. It’s ridiculous, they’re tipsy after a bottle of wine and dancing to Barbie Girl on the royal ship somewhere in the middle of the ocean. It’s silly but it’s fun, it’s what both of them needs. The past 24 hours were horrible for the both of them. They’re both haunted by their pasts still, so a carefree evening is more than welcome.

When the song ends, Dan just collapses on the floor. Phil joins him, sides hurting because he’s laughing so much. “That was fun.” 

“It was.” Dan turns his head sideways to look at him, smiling sheepishly all of a sudden. They’re quiet for a bit. The silence is heavy, Phil can feel the tension. It’s not a bad tension, but it’s an unsure one. He doesn’t know what he should do. He knows what he  _ wants  _ to do. He wants to hold him, to tell him everything will be good now. He wants to tell him he’s not like that jerk who hurt him. But above everything else, he wants to kiss him. But Dan yawns and says, “I’m sleepy now. Bed?”

Phil doesn’t answer, because Dan is already on his feet, taking the tray from the bed and putting it on the floor. Phil just sits there, kind of dumbstruck as Dan starts taking off his T-shirt and jeans. He sits on the floor quietly, staring at him as he gets into bed. Dan pats the mattress next to him, throwing the duvet out of the way.

Phil stands up as well; he takes his jeans off, but leaves his T-shirt on. Then, he gets into bed and Dan snuggles into him as soon as he’s there. He puts his head on Phil’s shoulder and sighs as Phil pulls the duvet on top of the both of them.

“Is this okay?” Phil ask quietly when he puts an arm around Dan. His back is soft and warm and Phil could cry with happiness.

Dan nods. “Good night, Philly.”

There’s a light switch next to the bed, so the room soon becomes dark. Dan’s breaths shortly become soft and deep. Phil, on the other hand, is lying there, his arm holding him close. Before he falls asleep, he presses his nose into Dan’s curls. It smells like coconut. He kisses the top of his head and says, “Good night, Dan.”

 

They wake up late. The sun is already high in the sky, burning hot and bright. At some point, they changed position: this time, Phil is the little spoon, with Dan’s giant hand pressing into his chest under his T-shirt. As he moves, he can feel Dan behind him and he can  _ feel Dan behind him. _

Surprised a bit, he moves away from him which just wakes Dan. Oblivious of what's happening, he pulls Phil close, either not knowing or not caring. Phil doesn’t mind, but he’s not sure that this is the road they should be taking. (He’s also half-hard in his pants, so he definitely shouldn’t be thinking about Dan’s dick pressing into his arse.)

“Morning, Mr Lester.”

“Good morning, Mr… Your Highness.”

“Urhg, shush.”

“If your mum is mad at you, does she say your full name?” Phil asks because a, he’s honestly curious and b, he’s hoping this will get their minds off of  _ things.  _

“You mean does she shout ‘Prince Daniel James of Eloren’ at the top of her lungs? Yeah, she does.”

“Wow.”

“If she’s extra pissed at me, she’ll even put ‘Son of King Lawrence and Queen Gwendoline.’ just so I know my place.”

“She’s a …”

“A lot, I know.” Talking about her seemed to help. Now, it’s just nice to be held by a half naked Dan, legs tangled together, not caring the slightest about appropriateness. “You hangover? How’s your seasickness?”

“Surprisingly I’m not and it’s alright, thanks.”

“Okay, that’s good.” Suddenly Dan removes his hand and sits up in bed. Phil tries not to show his sadness as he turns around to face him. Dan’s always handsome, but in the morning, all wrinkly-faced, puffy-eyed and messy-haired he’s divine. Phil’s nothing but a mere human compared to his beauty. “I’m gonna shower then you can go as well. Food afterwards?”

“Sounds good.”

While Dan’s in the shower, Phil checks his social media, email and the news, but there’s nothing about the video. He doesn’t even know if it’ll get posted. They have about two hours till they get to Olia, so he needs to get ready and find out what’s happening with it. 

He rolls over in bed. Despite spending a whole night hugging and being hugged by Dan, he presses his nose into the pillow. It smells just like him.

He falls back asleep again; when he wakes, he wakes up to a pillow hitting his back.

“Mate, I can’t believe you.”

“Mmmm…” He rolls onto his back, stretching. As he does, he can feel the duvet leaving him and his T-shirt is creeping up, exposing his stomach. Even though his eyes are closed, he feels Dan’s gaze burning into him. “I’m gonna shower,” he says eventually, because right now he needs to be away from Dan, before he does something he’d end up regretting.

The water almost burns his back, but he enjoys hot showers. He uses some of Dan’s blue shower gel which smells like bergamot and something else Phil can’t really identify. But it also smells like Dan, like hugging him in bed, holding him close and never wanting to let go of him.

He stands under the water for what it seems like hours. He knows what he feels for Dan should be terrifying because it’s so big and overwhelming. It also happened very suddenly and he definitely shouldn’t be feeling what he feels for him because they met not that long ago. But now their lives are intertwined and there’s no leaving. It would also be nice to tell him about everything that goes through Phil’s head, but they’ve got time. They have nothing but time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at [@outphan](http://outphan.tumblr.com).

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, the kingdom is based on the kingdom in Tangled, which is based on a real life place in France called Mont Saint-Michel.


End file.
